self reflection

[_Lyrics]

Self reflection

most people have a mouthful
to say about others,
But there's no set of eyes
That speak more than your own..

We seek what we can't find
looking into anothers eyes
Hoping they can pair into ours
And give us a value we didnt see

Some eyes can decieve
With indifferent perpectives
Projecting their visions of us onto us-
Broken headlights on a dead end road..

decide for yourself to take that route
Give me a good look in the mirror
And ask me if thats your only choice
Instead of at least trying to turn it around

When the eyes looking back
Are from a past
That made this regrettable future
It only blurs the promise of purpose..

not a damn thing I wouldnt give
To get you to see that image clear
That if nobody will
Ill be there, I still care..

[ILLunatic]

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[_Lyrics]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...41#post8561141
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...477200-Cycling

Its all good

[Atti]

This was very well written. One of the most refreshing parts of the piece is how simple the emotions were laid out, without feeling undeveloped or incomplete. this piece wasn't wracked with abstract images or flooded with over the top use of common tactic. It was just very thoughtfully worded with just the occasional out-there metaphor. Also the consistency of each stanza in relation to the concept overall was always very clear. At no point did this sway from the intended path, and for that reason you're left with individual stanzas driving you to a very concise and poignant overall concept and tone. All high points. I appreciated the read and hope to see you in here more often.

*Nice to see another boston writer in here.

[Emily]

This was different, simple, smooth and easy to read.
I thought those first two stanzas were a great way to start this poem.
Nice body of knowledge that's displayed in a wise way, almost humble manner.
But that sensitive nature is really something else.
You have a nice way with words Lyrics.
A nice clear, clean aspect to your words.

Keep them coming.

Good read.

[143]

Very nice, deftly written. I love the aspect of the pic in the portraying of the topic. Self worth topic was a good one with this brevity. You packed information and introspect into each line driving home the opinion you have about the topic. I can't say much other that what the others said because they convey the same feelings about this as I do. Great job

[Mach3]

Self reflection

most people have a mouthful
to say about others,
But there's no set of eyes
That speak more than your own..

We seek what we can't find
looking into anothers eyes
Hoping they can pair into ours
And give us a value we didnt see

Some eyes can decieve
With indifferent perpectives
Projecting their visions of us onto us-
Broken headlights on a dead end road..

decide for yourself to take that route
Give me a good look in the mirror
And ask me if thats your only choice
Instead of at least trying to turn it around

When the eyes looking back
Are from a past
That made this regrettable future
It only blurs the promise of purpose..

not a damn thing I wouldnt give
To get you to see that image clear
That if nobody will
Ill be there, I still care..

Nice and simple and clear and well written. This is just nitpicky but watch the spelling because for me anyways, it affects my reading of a poem if there's typos. I know its kinda stupid but we fucking around with the English language here so it shouldn't be mis-spelled (unless its on purpose :P)

I really liked the first stanza and thought it was very nice. It brought me into the poem right away and that's important. This is an emotionally frank piece that moves smoothly but I feel like it could go a bit deeper and show a wider breadth of language and emotions.

It was quite insightful, however. My favourite parts were the first stanza as I mentioned, and the 2nd to last one. You've harnessed simplicity and turned it into power, which is sometimes the hardest task for a poet. Kudos.

[memoir]

This was nice man. The imagery that you gave us in the third stanza was very good, for me the best bit of the piece. We sometimes know our bad qualities and rather than accept ourselves to these bad things, it is easier to judge somebody else upon them. Good job here.