A relationship equates to shit

[Venom]

I'm desensitized to her recent lies
My receeding trust intensifys with despise
Our relationship is a vacant ship Under utilized
Which equates to shit for our futile lives
Don't apologize with those hallow eyes
You were the instigating sewer whore who cheats
So who are you to preach to me you freak
Its time for a coarse for divorce and courts
I'll report the horror of her demon core
It'd take a team of lords to forgive her sins
No innocence to salvage in this bitch
So let's not pretend to forget the shit
I vowed to never forgive until I have revenge
I hope you burn in hell and scream for help
I hope your wounds turn green and smell as well
You mean vixen, I deem you quick sand

[Zen the Dude]

Are you the Venom who had a brief stint at netcees? If so I remember you and remembered you dropping a little better. This wasn't bad though, just assumed it was a key by the length and sloppiness in some lines. Some lines you'd use elegant language, or at least advanced language. Then the next line you'd call a woman a sewer whore. Eh? Lol that just fucks with the consistency imo. Either way this was cool for what it was.

[Venom]

Are you the Venom who had a brief stint at netcees? If so I remember you and remembered you dropping a little better. This wasn't bad though, just assumed it was a key by the length and sloppiness in some lines. Some lines you'd use elegant language, or at least advanced language. Then the next line you'd call a woman a sewer whore. Eh? Lol that just fucks with the consistency imo. Either way this was cool for what it was.

Nah I'm not the venom from netcees.
And yeah I have written better

Appreciate the look.

[Endeva.]

seemed like a piece to blow off some cobwebs, get the pen arm moving again... it wasn't the most polished but yea I've read a lot worse, and it was way too short too, not very balanced

keep writing

....pz

[Wordz AhGod.]

^I have to agree, while it was a good read for me, the structure was pretty bland and didn't give me much to go on. It is pretty short but I felt like too many details were left out and that it was just a vent piece. started out using multisyllabic rhyme scheme but seemed to fall short by the second line when some syllables didn't seem to match up properly.

[Echelon]

Wasn't really feeling this, tbh. It must've been a quick write up. I've seen you write better, Venom. The emotion seemed hollow, when it was supposed to be emotionally driven. The metaphors could've been better aswell. Take more time to write next go around. You got skill

[Truth Iscariot]

This was okay. It did have a key style feel but you did alright at presenting it as a real drop. I think your emotion was the strongest point of the piece. Had some decent imagery. Although more of it would have been nice.

Stay writing Ven, RTF bro.