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Thread: A Leap of Faith

  1. #1
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    A Leap of Faith



    A Leap Of Faith

    Taking a leap into the unknown, face in the breeze
    With my heart beat racing, chasing the freedom of leaves...
    Teased by the wind in autumns seasonal scenes,
    Free like the teams on flying trapeze, chimpanzees...
    Swinging in trees, or the Bees on the trail of nectar
    One sector to the next to please Queen at their centre
    Any weather, many Hectares, relentless, momentous...
    Lengthy trips, cemented by the strength of the census
    loyal to the temptress they'll fulfil a life sentence...
    In an' out the Hives entrance, surviving and thriving
    With the essence of flying high buried inside 'em
    So...
    I tried sky diving, hang gliding, but resemblance was minimal
    Nothing close to original, despite the right visuals...
    And height... so nah it wasn't permissible, nah not quite...
    The literal flight I'd dreamed of at night all of my life
    Since a child lit bright watching the DVD of Peter Pan...
    Seeing him stand then leave the land...
    ...with the ease of a helium man
    All the Theatre was grand, so the experience ran...
    Round immediate, the head of this mischievous fan
    That speedily began to believe he too could achieve this
    If Pan can, I can succeed with a real wish and feel lift...
    'Leave quick, off the heel, tip, on a field trip
    So naive I perceived this a serious achievement
    I just needed to think positive and focus on what it is...
    I want to accomplish, swapping logic for sort'a the opposite
    Ever the optimist and confident I could rocket away
    And not drop, hit the bottom... I had moderate faith!
    The day came I decided to play, 'made my way to the base...
    of this Sky Scraper staircase fire escape
    It was a tiring wait, climbing the zig-zag'n concrete
    Perspiring and aching I made it, collapsin' from the feat
    Catching my breath, set, I stepped to the edge of the ledge...
    With no sense of threat, yelled "Peter.. Peter.. it's me I'm here"
    "I'm coming to never land", waiting to see him appear...
    I grew excited, newly hyped with frustration starting to rear
    Suddenly...
    Thought I could hear him nearing, peering around
    With ear to the ground, tryin to hear clearly the sound...
    Of what I thought was cheering and clowning about
    My heart was pounding loud and pronounced
    But my mind was clouded, shrouded with delusion gripped
    Tipping the scales favouring J.M Barrie's unusual script
    Fuelling the lit, consuming a boys void that exists
    Just then...
    Through the mist the Lost Boys manifested
    With my brain playin' games, shouting "Peter" and restless...
    I felt refreshed with expressive gestures, waving at 'em...
    With frustration massing I couldn't wait for action
    So leapt with my faith climaxing, BUT then it happened
    Reality came crashing in!
    Peter Pan doesn't have feathery limbs, beak or wings
    Treachery within had left me chilled in the skin...
    Somehow my mind had sinned with a crime that killed
    I was blinded, tryna fulfil some kind of thrill...
    I closed my eyes filled with fear, tears, ill and careering
    With the pavement nearing, head now cleared and coherent...
    I knew I was dead, could hear people screaming.
    Pleading for God to intervene, I hit the concrete
    A kid gone in one leap! bleeding out on the street...
    Deceased, leaving mom feeling cheated instilled with her grief
    I mean...
    No parent should ever have to hear this shit from the police!







    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ons-of-Gradeur
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...7154-Decisions
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...thepool-collab
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...quates-to-shit
    Last edited by Endeva.; June 20th, 2014 at 07:56 AM
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  2. #2
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    says who... I've always done it, so long as its posted first in SS, its irrelevant, has no bearing on the league
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  3. #3

    Re: A Leap of Faith

    Ok then dev real deep piece and ya rhyme scheme is ridiculous how well it translates.

  4. #4
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    @Cai glad I posted it now, got no-showed in SS
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  5. #5
    Kami no kotoba. Wordz AhGod.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    this was dope, I can relate to it as it matches my style of writing.. really digging the details in the actions and environment, looks like one of those pieces I could read a few times and still catch something new to like. I may leave more feed later man.
    カミノコトバ

  6. #6
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    thanks man

    ...uppp
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  7. #7
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    c'mon... to the SS heads...

    get in here and leave ur comments, OR ima delete my votes on the open battles... ya heard!
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  8. #8
    ^ Says It All ^
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    I see why you got no-showed!

    Your flow is unreal, never lost it throughout. Really enjoyed reading this. Your imagery and choice of vocab creates some amazing story telling, you bring an emotion that really hits home.

    Brilliant writing.

    Sorry it's not much feed, I'm tired and the WC is on!

  9. #9
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    Quote Originally Posted by N LitEnd View Post
    Sorry it's not much feed, I'm tired and the WC is on!
    s'all good m8
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  10. #10
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    Lol Dev you're wild dude.

    This was ill and you know it. You have one of the most consistently dope rhyme schemes on the site and it shined through nicely here. Flowing seamlessly with your story. This is top stuff and perhaps worth a nom. Really enjoyed it Dev.

    AI

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  11. #11
    Whatever, Fuck You HighEngineChief's Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    Lmao the nigga ain't have no fairy dust, that shit don't work with just happy thoughts. This was dope, you took the topic to a cool place with the whole Peter Pan, I believe I can fly shit, and the ending, to me, was hilarious. What an asshole. The flow as always was dope, you're probably one of the most consistent writers when it comes to that. This was an entertaining piece to say the least. Too bad you got no showed.

  12. #12
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    all positive feed, suggestions of nominating it, BUT alas not a glimmer...

    ...bitches! lmao
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  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! zonez's Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    My fucking stupid cheap tablet is a piece of shit fucked over my detailed critique I had just typed. Loved everything about this especially the first paragraph. Favorite line;
    "Leave quick, off the heel, tip, on a field trip"
    The whole thing flowed impeccably although there were a couple spelling wording issues. Some of your word choices I thought were cheesy mainly the word "nah". That word just does not sound good to me in my head or out loud. Anyways props on this superb scripture, you definitely would have slaughtered your opponent with this.

  14. #14
    AJ The Menace Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    This was dope, consistent rhyme schemes along with a very entertaining story. Shit was had me grinning a few times, especially towards the end. Yes, it was funny indeed. Ending was nice way to wrap it up. Overall - just a great piece. Keep it up!

  15. #15
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: A Leap of Faith

    ^^thanks man, appreciate the words
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