https://soundcloud.com/jawn-raw/jawn...lone-die-alone
[sc]https://soundcloud.com/jawn-raw/jawn-raw-born-alone-die-alone[/sc]
this song was for a contest back almost a year ago. its the first song ive released from my album. btw, its almost done!!
btw, the concept of this song was written in the prospective of an aborted baby.
Last edited by Pair-A-Dyce; June 12th, 2014 at 07:19 PM
links not working man
it should be now. pair-a-dyce fixed it. thanks homie.
the subtle sounding scratching is cool.
im digging the beat.
okay the emotion in the verses are all good. you might be slightly too quiet. a little drowned out by the beat, maybe. listened again, seems all good actually. you stay on beat too. but other than that, solid writtens. Except the hook is a little. monotone bland, that could be redone.
stay dropping.
Last edited by Oxymoron; June 13th, 2014 at 10:11 AM
MoistPuss'Smoother than smooth
You know. You know. Cause when you know, you know. You Know.
The mind without a brain\i/
The old school scratching was pretty slick.. I was feeling that.
If I'm being thoroughly honest I didn't really like the beat much, sounded more like a freestyle type joint. Not that, that's bad or anything. For what the beat was In my opinion, I think, you did well.. You rode it well and it seemed like you had all the fundamentals there. I would of liked to see you switch your flow up a little. Lyrically this was pretty nice and the overall concept of this song. I wasn't a big fan of the hook because I agree with Moist that it sounded a little too monotone for the beat. I mean sometimes monotone hooks work but it didn't really compliment this type of beat. Overall you did well. Don't take my criticism personally , bro. You did well. Keep it up!
RTF: http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ic-Lead-My-Way
I make the type of pieces that make Jesus say God damn - Cole
Honestly the topic of this would make me never listen in any other instance. Your quality is great though and you don't appear to have any other technical limitations but the hook on this was really bad an uninteresting, I'd have suggested taking out the "die alone" singy part, I think that's what killed it to me cause it sounded amateurish.
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Leave me alone
i didn't really like the way you tackled this concept, but it's obvious you're skilled. you need more of a hook. it's hard to be drawn into this really, it lacks anything to really latch upon. it just lacks certain intangibles. decently done tho.
I believe i'm making some good music, please just wait for me
[sc]https://soundcloud.com/hood-society/what-you-fear-featuring-a-cas[/sc]
Being a producer I know exactly the program and preset you're using for that scratching lol. Ive used it once or twice myself. lol.
This song it hot tho, i like the concept and the flow. I think durring your hook in the background singing you couldve used either a better pitch in your voice or a program like NewTone or Autotune or Pitcher, cuz ur off lol. Other than that, solid drop.
Do audio?? Need a beat?? Get at me!
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much thanks. i appreciate your opinions.
Track, and lyrics were dope on this.. hook was too generic for me and killed the whole vibe.
カミノコトバ
if this is whats to be expected on the album man looking forward to what u done on the beats I made for the album
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Ect...... JMIN SCHOBS
yo u definitely got a dope ass voice good delivery and flow I felt u tackled the concept great it was creative I like ur aspect of the moral of the story u brought I don't tink many emcees tackle these type of concepts and that's y I related to what u brought to the table. I gotta agree about the hook tho maybe u should've incoprated the stratching and just said "I was Born to Die Alone" not sure how that would stand out but the monotone sound withdrew any interest on the hook. Other that I enjoyed the track a lot.
haha you know it J-min. thanks for the feedback Joe.
@Jawn Raw This was nice duke. I liked the scratching. The hook was nice. I can picture it being rocked at a show with some call/response type crowd interaction. You did your thing. Post more of your music here when you drop more tracks. Weren't you the one who put out that ssomething "..or the lost art" project? Or something along those lines. maybe I'm confusing you with someone else.
A.i
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