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Thread: Stuck In The Matrix

  1. #1
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Stuck In The Matrix

    Stuck In The Matrix



    To and fro, here we go, stuck in the matrix as time moves slow
    Stuck like a lab rat with no place to go, I'm stuck; I'm more fucked than a Donkey Show
    My breathing is labored, akin to my neighbors
    We are both eloped to crushing pain
    Out of asked favors - tied to the anchors
    Drowning. Both engulfed by the rushing rain
    Our plight minuscule like dust & grain
    To God's who watch The Cosmos's numberless stars
    & mechanized Osmosis before elementary "Running Cars"
    Or Night Clubs, Shopping malls, shacks, and bars
    That litter Mother Earth like monuments to the girth
    Of our lowly self-worth - we are falling head-first
    Towards un-giving dirt - Suicide through shut-lid eyes
    I couldn't bear to see demise...Coming

    Fate has been the very thing from which I found myself running
    Weary is the tested cunning Wars rhythmic like constant drumming
    Civilians lives left in limbo wondering is that ominous or triumphant thundering
    Why are the clouds rumbling? Are the gods stumbling?
    Drunkenly towards extinction - divinity tainted by Mortal liaisons
    Who long ago forgot the reasons for the various seasons
    Theirs is the most nefarious treason - Sure we hold forgettable demons
    But why carry and lead them along your false salvation?
    We preside in purgatory now waiting for retribution which won't occur
    1080p resolution on dreams deferred archaic hopes which we desert
    Sweet dessert for the serpents that litter the lawn
    You're grandmother used to toil upon - deep within dark recesses
    Of age old memories and ill-tinted regrets that beget this stress which
    Aches daily as we're tested -nestled within the crevice
    Hourly bested and dressed with the shame to attest it

    Now framed in the matrix – so its color will not grow faded
    Stuck upon a never-ending wall in the halls of the creators
    Boxed in with the magic wands, the unicorns, and acid-induced dawns
    Dogma was worded well by worthless pawns
    The parchment it was produced on well decay likes various dunes and ponds
    Placed by Gods hands. So when our reality negates the plan that lies in wait
    What can be said of destiny or fate? Love or hate? Real or fake?
    Is the Matrix so real that your mind cannot sense it?
    So well like white lies and false pretenses?
    ?
    ?
    ?
    ?

    Last edited by Truth Iscariot; May 29th, 2014 at 09:45 PM

    AI

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  2. #2
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Last edited by Truth Iscariot; May 29th, 2014 at 01:31 PM

    AI

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  3. #3
    Thermo-dynamically gifted PureEnergy's Avatar
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    Re: Stuck In The Matrix

    As always, SOLID! You must have an infinitely deep well of ideas. Really thought provoking poem. Great drop, dude.
    The Omerta Collective

  4. #4
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: Stuck In The Matrix

    interesting choice of topic, and you ran with the concept well, with a few tweaks it would be up there, for me, the main one is, its nothing major, just watch the length of the lines, I know the length of the line has more to do with the size of the syllables in a lot of cases, but if some are way longer than others, especially ones near by, it makes the flow of it disproportionate, whereas if they are pretty evenly matched it gets a rhythm goin, if you know what im saying, before I start confusing myself and forget...

    heres 1 line that really stood out to me, simple but effective-

    Why are the clouds rumbling? Are the gods stumbling?
    ^^nice

    overall I liked it, some nice work bro

    ..........pz
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

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