IPTT Piece: Gettin' High

[Truth Iscariot]

Getting high...



I inhale deeply
Smoke rolling and seeping
I feel sweet numbness creeping
Forth
S
.
L
.
O
.
W

Misty mountain hip hop –Kush and Gin will beat box
This High place is the furthest thing from detox
I tend to relapse and restock – entrapped by God Bud
No bitterness caused this affair, truthfully it’s all love
My religious experience from the ground & not above
Earth propels me slow like some kind-of apathetic dove
I blow down to ascend past plights plan to apprehend
The common man – seeking only a tallied win
Smiling, I float staring at the planets as they sadly spin
Though I know I’d be part of the show unfit to amply grin
The stars are bright from this precipice my home below so dim
My soul is akin to the burning galaxies – A pyre burns within…
….My mind. I am blazed and blissful to churning fallacies
Hurled by rulers of the world that now revolves around me
The new Sun. Unaware of sober fools who challenge me
As the roaring center of the universe
Spawning like A.I. with ten trillion gigahertz
My high is getting lost in my words...Coming down inferred

I take another hit…

And I’m here – the precipice of Mt. Zion
The ground is sooty and barren – ain’t a thing to get high on
Consciousness, we’ve played this game before: You king and I pawn
But sir, when I had a smoke the chessboard broke – the loss of an icon
Seen was the Knight donned, dreamed was the Night’s dawn
When we toke the gap between fantasy and reality is mended
I’m home smoking, all while seeing visions never witnessed

[KnowP]

Closed for now per authors request.

[KnowP]

re-opened - links below

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?476282-Sun
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...Soldiers-Story

[Truth Iscariot]

Good job fatman

[Zoshi]

I like the imagery in this. Explaining great details of what happens in when you get "high". But you go even further then that. This is a really nice piece, keep up the good work bro.

[graf-x]

Dope piece though, you have wicked vocab and your flips were well done.. imagery on point.

I inhale deeply
Smoke rolling and seeping
I feel sweet numbness creeping
Forth
S
.
L
.
O
.
W
Hmmm got what you were doing here. cool intro - although would have been dope to see a catching intro. I don't see that anymore. something I should work on. but yes next time try to grab the reader by something original (and yes I know every concept is played) but originality never fails to bring a piece to the reader in an instant.
Misty mountain hip hop –Kush and Gin will beat box
This High place is the furthest thing from detox
I tend to relapse and restock – entrapped by God Bud
No bitterness caused this affair, truthfully it’s all love
My religious experience from the ground & not above
Earth propels me slow like some kind-of apathetic dove
this was dope - I like the 2 flips I saw here. if it was meant props. if not (well now you know). imagery on point. grabbed me in at this point. great use of words.
I blow down to ascend past plights plan to apprehend
The common man – seeking only a tallied win
Smiling, I float staring at the planets as they sadly spin
Though I know I’d be part of the show unfit to amply grin
The stars are bright from this precipice my home below so dim
My soul is akin to the burning galaxies – A pyre burns within…
here I felt the vocab could have been toned down. but flow is cool, and again nice imagery. I just felt you focused on not repeating or using common words here but sometimes it doesn't hurt to keep the reader dumbed down a little to look deeper into the words. and actually imagine it while reading
….My mind. I am blazed and blissful to churning fallacies
Hurled by rulers of the world that now revolves around me
The new Sun. Unaware of sober fools who challenge me
As the roaring center of the universe
Spawning like A.I. with ten trillion gigahertz
My high is getting lost in my words...Coming down inferred

I take another hit…
to me this is perfect (I know nothing is perfect don't correct me lol. but yea close as it gets.. to me as a reader). and the placement was perfect as we are nearing the end.
And I’m here – the precipice of Mt. Zion
The ground is sooty and barren – ain’t a thing to get high on
Consciousness, we’ve played this game before: You king and I pawn
But sir, when I had a smoke the chessboard broke – the loss of an icon
Seen was the Knight donned, dreamed was the Night’s dawn
When we toke the gap between fantasy and reality is mended
I’m home smoking, all while seeing visions never witnessed
again flips here are dope. good way to end it. rhyme scheme and vocab was nice.

to be honest I enjoyed most this piece minus the one part (to me) could be more of a black hole to the eye and start off with what people would be like -- damn what else??? lol

[Truth Iscariot]

Bump

[Emily]

I love a good smoking piece and this was that.
You can tell you’ve never smoked a J in your life but that you’ve just read about it....na na nar nar naaa ; P
Good improv lol

This intro rocks:

‘I inhale deeply
Smoke rolling and seeping
I feel sweet numbness creeping
Forth
S
.
L
.
O
.
W’

Even the way its spaced vertically like this gives us an artistic view which imo, only helps the piece in its
Royal highness.

‘Misty mountain hip hop –Kush and Gin will beat box
This High place is the furthest thing from detox
I tend to relapse and restock – entrapped by God Bud’

Heaps of internals here, which I adore. Grungy attitude running all through this piece.
I love how you say your religious experience is based on the ground and not from above lol.

‘Smiling, I float staring at the planets as they sadly spin
Though I know I’d be part of the show unfit to amply grin
The stars are bright from this precipice my home below so dim
My soul is akin to the burning galaxies – A pyre burns within…
….My mind. I am blazed and blissful to churning fallacies
Hurled by rulers of the world that now revolves around me
The new Sun. Unaware of sober fools who challenge me’

Love this. Floating, staring, planets, spins, looking down, burning galaxies personifying souls, blazed, blissful, and that bit where the world revolves around you lol, the…'NEW SUN' lol love it.
Unaware of ‘sober fools who challenge me’ I think these are probably my favourite bars.
Entirely full of stoned megalomania.

‘I take another hit…

And I’m here – the precipice of Mt. Zion’---- Well worded.
I also think the chess reference is cool.

This is a cool descriptive piece Truth with lots of rhymes and
a good storyline. Some pot pieces are mundane and predictable but
you worded yours in a fresh way that was cool to see.
Experiencing your high from the readers’ point of view was easy,
as there was some nice order in that chaos of yours and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Cool read.

[Truth Iscariot]

Thank you Emily

[whitesmoke96]

I inhale deeply
Smoke rolling and seeping
I feel sweet numbness creeping
Forth
S
.
L
.
O
.
W

sweet numbness, rolling smoke and creeping, all things I associate with bud and I'm actually surprised at the word usage...those are words I'd use lol grips ya if you been there done that.

Misty mountain hip hop –Kush and Gin will beat box

first line is my favorite no doubt, hit home cuz of the 70's classics reference.

No bitterness caused this affair, truthfully it’s all love
My religious experience from the ground & not above

I love how you describe your relationship with MJ as a love no hate and see it as spiritual instead of simply recreational.

I blow down to ascend past plights plan to apprehend

mad alliteration and consonance, that's the stuff to play with.

The new Sun. Unaware of sober fools who challenge me

line reminds me of bitch dont kill my vibe, respectable rhyme

Consciousness, we’ve played this game before: You king and I pawn
But sir, when I had a smoke the chessboard broke – the loss of an icon

this part though....damn. crazy metaphor for showing how your awareness shifts towards knowing you're in a game. you lose the pawn and king control relationship by knowing the game and thus choosing not to play.

overall I wasn't too into it just reading at first but as I started getting references I hadn't right away, I was quite pleased with the thought, effort, (and marijuana) obviously spent in creating this piece. Props bro. Only thing I'd change is the ending; although it conveys what it meant I just feel like it ended the piece to abruptly instead of sitting it down slowly to leave people pondering

[Truth Iscariot]

I inhale deeply
Smoke rolling and seeping
I feel sweet numbness creeping
Forth
S
.
L
.
O
.
W

sweet numbness, rolling smoke and creeping, all things I associate with bud and I'm actually surprised at the word usage...those are words I'd use lol grips ya if you been there done that.

Misty mountain hip hop –Kush and Gin will beat box

first line is my favorite no doubt, hit home cuz of the 70's classics reference.

No bitterness caused this affair, truthfully it’s all love
My religious experience from the ground & not above

I love how you describe your relationship with MJ as a love no hate and see it as spiritual instead of simply recreational.

I blow down to ascend past plights plan to apprehend

mad alliteration and consonance, that's the stuff to play with.

The new Sun. Unaware of sober fools who challenge me

line reminds me of bitch dont kill my vibe, respectable rhyme

Consciousness, we’ve played this game before: You king and I pawn
But sir, when I had a smoke the chessboard broke – the loss of an icon

this part though....damn. crazy metaphor for showing how your awareness shifts towards knowing you're in a game. you lose the pawn and king control relationship by knowing the game and thus choosing not to play.

overall I wasn't too into it just reading at first but as I started getting references I hadn't right away, I was quite pleased with the thought, effort, (and marijuana) obviously spent in creating this piece. Props bro. Only thing I'd change is the ending; although it conveys what it meant I just feel like it ended the piece to abruptly instead of sitting it down slowly to leave people pondering

Thanks for the feedback bro much appreciated.

[whitesmoke96]

anytime man, it was entertaining. would you mind returning feed on my new OM piece? worked pretty hard and seems you might appreciate the underlining message

[makengknowcentz]

don't take this bad but you are very similar to killah priest on heavy mental from then till now your scheme immolates it well and I can here it to that same beat. I would do all the traditional praise but you ND Everyone here knows your a beast so I will reflect some negatives......................................... ...........................................thinkin g................................................. ..........thinking................................ ........ummm fuck thinking.........................................o h ok though this is a weed ssmoking joint I would of preferred cypress hill over hippie grateful dead style lol I like that you kept it fun without mocking the dulture but umm yeah my only complaint is that this was so alternative there was no room for hip hop but instead stoner all the way I could see sonic youth doing a beat for this