Who's my GOD?

[ARebeL]

I'm a walking product out of the ocean ,
I'm a ghost that resurrected in a life that he wasn't suppose to,
I'm the big bang theory that blew upon on the devil"s shoulder ,
the lords solider asking what god do i pray to for more closure,
I'm the different views up on Buddha I'm the king of the Jews ,
grab a hand full of disciples was Muhammad one to?,
was Goliath that easy that David had a rock he would shoot,
at the head of a giant and knock him down to his shoes,
did you forgive all my sins? and should i really believe in,
the beginning of when Adam gets kicked out of Eden,
was Jesus my leader or was his story a lie,
do i still wait on a messiah till the day he arrives,
does god even exist, am i really his kid,
am i made in a universe without an after life i would live ,
and when i spit about a lord i always seem to re plot,
and try to answer the question who's really my GOD?

[ARebeL]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...n-the-pen-game
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...-gonna-post-it!

[CLA919]

You forgot a rhyme in the beginning

I'm a walking product out of the ocean ,
I'm a ghost that resurrected in a life that he wasn't suppose to, (be in)?

And as I went down your rhyming technique was kind of off for you, yet, it still worked in my opinion.

Deep, DEEP, subject that took me years to figure out myself... All I can say is whatever feels right in your opinion. MANY of us write on this subject - look around - hope you find your answer soon. Seems to me you might be masonic and it might be your ultimate mission to seek your own truth.

[Truth Iscariot]

I liked this it was a thoughtful piece as Cla said that first rhyme threw me off upon my first read through but i feel like you were saying supposed in a slang type method. Anyhow throughout this short piece you invoked a lot of powerful images, and used a lot of historical figures. I feel like the concept could be wrote about much longer but what you did write I liked. I think your biggest flaw here was the flow and ebb of it, it was choppy to read and try to think of how it flowed until the late middle and end. The ending in terms of flow and your presence writing was way stronger than your beginning, as i said previously i wish you had of made it a longer piece but good read.

[ARebeL]

yeah it kinda looks wierd but verbally when you hear it you'll understand