You're All I Need

[CLA919]

@Toobs @Spartacus @Child-raising badass @Professor Frost @The Great Father

You’re All I Need


Hook

You deserve a queen as mean and as clean as heaven itself when it come to intervene
See back at 15, I was already on the scene for my will to raise green
My Dad ain’t left, I kicked his ass out the best way I knew how…
We went from riches to rags and the only thing I knew well, besides sell, well, I’m doing it now
The power a child holds in the eyes of a mother, well let’s just say I seen that in you as my lover
Not my knight, not my king, you were right… a God!
And even when I tell mine how sorry I am I fucked up the blessing - all he could even do is nod.
Let’s consult jigga on how a white girl become a chigger – I was tossed into Chaolin’s land
It was a black boy to always first and forever take my hand…
As he demanded that I commanded my own destiny – not to let one pick me.

HOOK
Mary’s Part (cause I really just might)

A true G… He taught me a little backwards though… to be top I had to be bottom (as in bitch)
And to hold great contempt for in our ways for a snitch,
In fact he even showed me that ditch and how real this game be,
So in everything he did he was the only one that ever sheltered me….
In hotel rooms, men’s barracks, and tombs
And to heal my wounds, he’d just walk away…
So to understand their way is the only thing I’ve ever known in every single way.
I swore upon an oath I would always belong to him, but love gets lost and then it starts up again
Again and again, only this was the first time I fell in love first with a friend,
And not just fall cause of passion.

HOOK

And yes, what threw me off was your skin, and yes in men, black is all I ever respected
Cause look how my own race do me!!! Yesterday my best evidence of how I’m rejected.
It’s all good, cause for those type I never interjected and never will again
I don’t even know my own blood type nor why I’ve always been so proud to be raised white
Probably cause I was the last of the hustler’s to ever really do shit right (no time but 14 and 5 hours)
I want more though, everyone know how that ending go – and I saw it in you
And now because I got scared and said all that crazy fucked up shit we’re through?
Well I confess to every faggot up on this site, yeah, they were right
But the ONLY one’s respect back I need is from my knight,
Who no matter how hard it is to choke down his white,
How I feel about that is to discriminate, and that just ain’t right.
For you and ONLY your respect back, I will fight.

Fuck the rest of them for really real though, I’m sorry is all I can hear whispered as I pack my backpack knowing it’s time to go… I’m so sick of i95 but fuck it I'm gone! Just don't say I was wrong.

[Wordz AhGod.]

real life feed back.. your verse wasn't shit but it lacked substance and transition. Your lines were beyond stretched out and that messed the flow up. Your rhymes were basic but they worked for the beat that that you were going for. This song being a classic, you would have to come correct, if I read your verse to it, there are a lot of syllables that are off (I read at a college level lol). Don't stop writing though, its all about expression and your Open mics are good.. writing actual tracks may not be your thing but then again I would like to hear you do this track to see what level you are actually at as its always a bit hard to tell what your interpretations would be based on this.

[makengknowcentz]

i understand wordz and what he stated and there are parts where he is right but unitl i here you spit it i cant validate it wouldnt work as a track the emmotion is unquestionabale.( no i Cant spell good) the minor tweeks needed but then again everything i post needs alot of tweeks lol so no judging. when a message has dept there are many rappers who use simplicity over complexity so that the meaning over takes the delivery. i guess its on preference. not your best overall but def not weak by any means......

[CLA919]

yeah, I definitely don't spit... I hear the flow in my head but I can't even convey it across to other people as I hear it... it never comes out right. As far as writing - I just love rap but I think I write better in an alternative or metal realm - I only did it once though but the flow came across a lot easier... I think the only way I would be able to write on this style is on a collab basis... kinda like dancing.... start me off and I'll go - but I'm not the type to get up on a mic or anything (hell no to all that). I do appreciate the feedback though...

[Wordz AhGod.]

If you ever played an instrument. The first leason you get is about bars and notes.. rap is a simplified version of this. Think about it as this.. two snare drums on the beat is one line on paper.. 4 snare drums on a beat is a bar on paper. This is why we push the thought of structure, transition, and flow. Its just like how you are limited in syllables in the haiku, once you write enough your mind will adjust to the beat and you'll have a natural syllable count that goes smoothly with the beat. Start off by learning to ride the beat first.. then once you are confident with it.. take it over and let the beat ride with you by switch the flow up. Music is fun, creativity and self expression. . What ever you write make sure it has that and you'll be straight.

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[Child-Raising Badass]

I read it. Ill drop feed-back when I sober up