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March 30th, 2014, 09:56 PM
#1
Drugs run my life
Theres always Copious amounts of opiates in my mouth
Slowly count dollin it out while Im smoking a pound
Stakin out for job interviews, prolly missed a few
But I need a business dude before I end up pigeon food
But all I know is bad drugs and I gotta fess up it isn’t cool
got offers to drive mac trucks and I guess I’m trippin fool
With heroin in the tires and Im like damn… fuck
25-life but then again I really want my fast funds
Shit I gotta find a way to turn my mutha fuckin gas on
but I got this passion for blazin a bunch of cash crops
I’m crossin state lines with a big bag of ecstacy sittin next to me
Whats a few more charges pounds of sensimi and a pistol case they mess with me
Booger sugar pusher with kush yes my pockets gonna swell lots
I don’t like coke see homie I really just like the smell a lot
Hell is hot but this world is so damn cold
stick up a dealer take his rocks, knot and his teeth if they flash gold
Im an asshole, a nihilists wet dream whether laughter or screams
Human beings must be lackin atoms cuz people don’t matter to me
Maybe one day I’ll have an epiphany
Till then I guess drug dealer is simply what I’m meant to be
Last edited by TangibleThoughts; March 30th, 2014 at 10:24 PM
Reason: missed a mistake duh
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March 30th, 2014, 10:02 PM
#2
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April 1st, 2014, 07:57 PM
#3
The Legend
Re: Drugs run my life
ok for a beginner. and I'm assuming with your broken rhymes you may be from a place that has a heavy accent of some sort. anyway, didn't quote any bars because I didn't see any dope multi layered segments or thought provoking lines. drugs/life is pretty much cliché in the art of writing these days but if done creatively, you can make it a dope piece. Next time just try to be more creative with wordplay and metaphors for typical concepts like this. keep at it though.
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April 1st, 2014, 10:42 PM
#4
Re: Drugs run my life
OMG I LOVED this http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...gs-run-my-life - I read it fine, caught the flow but if it's like me personally I hear it better then I speak it and my challenge is how to relay it out in punctuation cause our flows are complicated. Keep up the good work and check statutes of limitations if you don't wanna live looking over your shoulders (Post 9/11... it's a new day bro LoL)
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April 1st, 2014, 10:43 PM
#5
Re: Drugs run my life
PS... sometimes we're more critical of ourselves then God is... Keep your head up!
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April 2nd, 2014, 04:21 AM
#6
Re: Drugs run my life
this was alright. its didnt really paint a picture for me. you should use more metaphors and a some puns. this was just really simple for me.
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