What To Write

[Endeva.]

What to Write

Thought I’d write an open Mic...
But I needed a concept to excite my vitals
One step at a time I crossed off every title
You see i’ve got lots so it’s easy to recycle
But...
That’s not archetypal like art recitals should be
If you’re a true disciple of the urban bible, see...
Only idle minds try pull wool over the eyes of a rival
It’s suicidal like guys stood crying floods...
...With a rifle shoved in their mouth
Writing good-bye my love, about to dismount
And throw in the towel travelling south
Not in my house, my only doubt’s in figuring out...
If the layout I’m picturing shouts originality
Browsing my RB account materiality...
To ensure individuality like earth in our galaxy...
Or gravity, it’s a technicality in the talent we...
As balanced writers need to keep to speed
So there’s no repeats in the piece you read...
Like recurring dreams.
You want your words to reach, breach a person’s seat...
A complete first, not a part rehearsed speech
Whats that teach? Deceit, cut n paste, delete...
It’s a fuckin waste, why put in days just to cheat
It makes you obsolete...
Might as well conceit defeat and accept you’re beat





http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...weet-Lady-quot
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...65-Mofo-am-ILL

[Abortion]

Amazing piece. The flow is really the star here. I stumbled a little over it the first read, but that's the mark of a complex flow, as the second read came through crisp and tight. In particular the line below

Or gravity, it’s a technicality in the talent we...
As balanced writers need to keep to speed

that you got "balanced writers need" to fit your rhyme scheme is really impressive. Also it's "concede" not "conceit"

[TangibleThoughts]

I agree with abortion. First read stumbled and the bam went perfectly Nice job dude

[Endeva.]

thanks peepz... appreciate the read

[CLA919]

[QUOTE=DEV;8481460]What to Write

Only idle minds try pull wool over the eyes of a rival



I SOOOOOO disagree, the Art of War is all about Illusion - how your enemy portrays you vs what you really are.

[Endeva.]

but there is no war

[CLA919]

Well then... who is the rival?

[Endeva.]

its about writers and writing

[KnowP]

see rule #1 dog. u need one more link.

[Endeva.]

what about the hundreds ive replied to and never used the links to

cut me some slack bro lol

[Endeva.]

nah ill get another link, IF u actually leave some feed

[KnowP]

Browsing my RB account materiality...
To ensure individuality like earth in our galaxy...
Or gravity, it’s a technicality in the talent we...
As balanced writers need to keep to speed
So there’s no repeats in the piece you read...
Like recurring dreams.
You want your words to reach, breach a person’s seat...
A complete first, not a part rehearsed speech
Whats that teach? Deceit, cut n paste, delete...
It’s a fuckin waste, why put in days just to cheat

I really dug this part. got serious and emotional here.



Overall this jawn started off slow. the opener was good but then was blahhh for a while until the part I quoted above. it got really interesting then. the ending kinda of just.... stopped. Didn't get the sense you found your resolve or there was a sequel coming or anything to that notion. vocab was aight. rhyme scheme was solid as it varied through out as well. im assuming this isn't a fresh piece? meaning you wrote this some years ago perhaps? just my observation. anywho, good piece man. show us more.

[Endeva.]

nah I key'd it up the other night while I was entertaining my good friend 'litre of vodka' ah we've had some good times together over the years, a dear friend indeed

[Emily]

I like your style, and flow. I like the trippy words cascading their rhyming little asses down all those sentences.
Beginning, mid and end. You're very talented. I've never seen your work before so now I'll be on the look out for it.
You had a 'no bullshit policy' in this. That's what I connected to.
The no bullshit, reality of it.
It's jam packed with smart rhymes.

Fav line:

As balanced writers need to keep to speed
So there’s no repeats in the piece you read...

...What? Like this isn't the truth.

[Truth Iscariot]

Your flow is your biggest strength throughout this, impeccable really. You dropped metaphors left and right, most hit some miss but altogether a strong component. Wording was good as well, really played to the concept i think a lot of writers can dig and relate to, good work Dev.