gift of poetry (quick read

[evilbombsquad]

GRungy out the gate, but still putting politics aside
lettin ya'll know bombing minds is a hobby of mine
a tender rage taking center stage and its About Time
visualize whats true 2 see POETRY brings us common pleasure
World Wide Unity brings me more value then stolen treasures
dont rush me son take sum time 2 understand
your power of 1 is sumptin no1 else will bother 2 plan
its ok 2 be new at this cause overtime we evolve as one
so 2 all my students hear me now go out and have fun
soft spoken hype toss open mics bringing the best i can
always willing to give anew kat a helping hand
if you dont believe me just type evilbombsquad in your aim

[evilbombsquad]

no love foe me

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

^lol...aw.
This seemed more like an open mic to me, flow was on point tho. Short n sweet.

>visualize whats true 2 see POETRY brings us common pleasure
World Wide Unity brings me more value then stolen treasures

^Favorite line.
Nice drop Evil.
Remember DaGyrl replied.
Theres some luv for ya.
Stay up.
Pz.

[Legendary]

This did seem more like an open mic, like she said, but I thought it was good.

"its ok 2 be new at this cause overtime we evolve as one
so 2 all my students hear me now go out and have fun
soft spoken hype toss open mics bringing the best i can
always willing to give anew kat a helping hand
if you dont believe me just type evilbombsquad in your aim"

That was the part I liked out of it. Not much more I can say other than this was a good post.

[evilbombsquad]

^^^ thanx ya 2

i try

[Varentao]

Yeah Joey...this was nicely done...

...i aint going to jump on the bandwagon and say "it seemed more like an open mic to me"...cos it's already been said, and don't need to be said anymore, like....(er, yeah...that's good...)...

...i liked it. Qaint (okay, someone look that word up for me? the spelling that is..), just was there. To use something i've now turnd into a cliche (i'm sure the english language will be pleased next time it visits these boards...!?!)...'it is what it is..'..

..resp...

[evilbombsquad]

^^ whatever

[MuhThugga]

Okay, the message that was brought forth in this piece of poetry was an excellent concept. The overall structure was great. However, it didn't really grasp onto me as some other pieces might. This was a little too direct and really didn't make you stop and think, "This line was dope." You really didn't put a twist or spin on things, and I find that is what makes a lasting impression is that twist, that thought provoking line that ties everything together. Those lines impress me because it shows that the artist went the extra mile in the creation of his piece.

Secondly, I would refrain from using "2" as "to" and "4" as "for" and so on. It really does take away from the total effect that a piece has, and a lot of times leaves the reader with the impression that the artist rushed it so much that he didn't even have time to spell everything out.

That's my advice. Great, but used often topic. Just practice going that extra mile and soon enough all of your ideas will "evolve as one."

[evilbombsquad]

^^ good lookiin

[evilbombsquad]

uppin

[Twiztid_chick69]

I think it was okay. Short and sweet. I think it flowed pretty well.

peAce

[evilbombsquad]

thanx ya twiztid lette