Welcome to the Comeoutofthecloset Bowl, where we evaluate the most useless of the useless, the girliest of the anti-masculine, and the absolute most despicable divas that are here today.
Alphabet- What's your spirit animal? Alphabet's is the Chihuahua! Small, fearful, and loving to hide behind things and bark, Alphabet would tell you himself to vote for him... but he's scared of confrontation.
Ridiculous- he loves being a girly diva and throws temper tantrums when anyone DARES say anything that suggests he has a y chromosome. Beware this bitch with a bite, he loves Sex in the City.... and not just men in Manhattan... geez.
Belligerent- Who is that dude who calls himself the "Internet Tupac"? Why, it's Belligerent of course! He once did coke, but he gave that up. However, he'll never give up cock. His words, not mine. He's new to the scene here, but already parades himself like a queen.
Kontext- Want to vote for somebody who is at the bottom of that bottom 1%, who buys used toilet paper and condoms because they're on discount? Who gets male hookers and then jumps out the window to avoid paying them? Who lives at the local YMCA and not just for the locker room sex? Heeeeeeere's Kontext!
Dev- Are the other candidates just a little too wild and (boy)crazy for you? Want to pick someone who is boring, dull, and flatlining? This competitor doesn't need roofies.... he knocks out potential male sexual assault victims by talking to them about his topicals! Try not to fall asleep... for Dev (he'd rather sleep with you, if you're a bro.
Barcotic- The wild card, the dumb ass, the "who gives a fuck about this guy?" candidate. He'll suck you off just because he feels like it while listening to some Mims.
So, without further ado, we commence the 2013 ComeoutoftheCloset Bowl! Members of RB, cast your votes for who this year's champion is. Every voice counts.
So.... ready, set, vote. Make one of these queens the Hero of Homo.