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Thread: Guns!

  1. #1
    Young Simba
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    Guns!

    A soul of strong metal, I cannot feel.
    My birth began as a block of steel.
    Inanimate object that mankind defines,
    With purpose, an objective, with drawings and designs.
    The heat of the fire does soften my nature.
    With hammer and anvil, my spirit denatured.
    Taking on the shapes as desired by man.
    Converting my power to fit in his hand.

    Intricate workings, fitting so precise,
    Intentions understood, the meaning concise.
    A tool I am created, to be used as I may,
    To deter, to threaten, to wound and to slay.
    Like all designs before me, that mankind creates,
    Taking on the shape that my creator dictates.
    Having nothing to do with the politics of man,
    I am just another tool, like a rock in your hand.

    Like the stick as a club, and the spear, and the bow.
    Mankind chooses the way to challenge his foe.
    Never once were we asked our opinion or taste.
    Never once were we asked if we deem this a waste.
    We are simply resources that God chose to provide.
    The darker purpose was that which mankind has plied.
    So do not place blame on the weapon in hand.
    Instead you should question the judgments of man.

  2. #2
    Young Simba
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    Re: Guns!

    Edit
    Last edited by Letterman; January 1st, 2012 at 09:38 PM

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Northern Beggar's Avatar
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    Re: Guns!

    i liked this, man. It wasn't as overtly abstract as most poems i've heard in my town or read online. Like ur poem, the writing here had it's purpose and the concept was well defined. There were lots of great lines. my favorite was:

    Taking on the shapes as desired by man.
    Converting my power to fit in his hand.
    ^^ very dope. It definitely summarize the underlying message of he piece. I think the commentary here is "the real problem". Very nice man, i genuinely enjoyed the piece.
    [youtube]DmSREFKsZ7Y[/youtube]

  4. #4
    Young Simba
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    Re: Guns!

    Thanks for the feed. Lol I got rid of the commentary...

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Northern Beggar's Avatar
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    Re: Guns!

    lol...oh shit, i think u misunderstood me, bro. When i said the commentary was the "Real problem" i didnt mean that exposition u wrote, lol. I meant commentary as in one's personal oppinion of a subject, which in this case, your commentary was on the "Real Problem". The gun wasnt the issue, it's the user that's the "real problem". My bad man, i should've made myself more clear lol.
    [youtube]DmSREFKsZ7Y[/youtube]

  6. #6
    Young Simba
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    Re: Guns!

    Lol oh...I got it! Thanks for the feed man...uppin!

  7. #7
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Re: Guns!

    I think North hit it on the head. This was a great read with intentions not to be focused on the gun but rather the feel and actions of those who possess it and use it. The play in it was cool but I felt that some parts didn't need to rhyme or there was a better word to choose (the denatured line is one..) other than that I like this....keep at it


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