wishing well

[Jon]

wishing well
for years,
and sat here
on my tongue,
in good taste -
with bad water
that didn't run,
stagnent
propositions of
moleria and typhoid.

you disease you,
infectious
feverishly sick
uncommonly cold
all the way
to the core
of your bones.

someone like me
will fall until the rocks stop
at the bottom -
and beat like something red
until this rib cage breaks
the walls
standing around me.

here's to cheers
and a shiney penny
tossed inside
a certain hole -
located near something dear;
also known as a wishing well.

[Jon]

here your ears

[143]

I like the emotion and the image play you have in this piece. The water and taste representation stood out the most which set the tone for the read. Then you made the personal reference play upon the recognition stanza before link together with the rib cage/bones lines. Overall with the smoothness of the flow this is one great piece.

[Jon]

thanks man

[ItoldUIwasFat]

godam that first stanza was powerful and soooo i dunno man that stanza had me like whoa!. lol

the imagery in this was solid and like said that first stanza was outstanding man great language and emotion as well. ha! i liked how the second stanza starts as well...sorta of a twist and intro to the theme i dunno if that makes sense. i like the direction his took towards the middle it was a little dark overall but got a little but darker there and then towards the end it got a little lighter in mood..good contrast...great poetry bruh

[Alco-Holly]

I enjoyed the way it flowed back to the start, like an endless cycle, that was a nice idea. The wordplay took it for me, more than anything else; I especially liked the 'in bad taste' and 'uncommonly cold' ideas. The flow was spot on throughout and it read smoothly.

Nice work.
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