C.Wrighter (0-1) vs Slowhands (0-2) Slowhands Win

[The Archetype]

LLL Season 15, Week 6

Due Times
Check in due Thursday 11.59pm PST.
- if you don't check in by this time, you WILL be DQed
Verses due by Friday 11.59pm PST.
- 2 hour grace period, if used -3 votes
-Max. Extension = 24 hours, to be granted by your opponent.
Voting Ends Sunday 11.59pm EST.

Line Limits
10 min and 20 max…If no line limit agreed, second battler to post must match first battler. But ultimately, first battler gets to set the line number by how much he posts.

Links
Must Leave 5 links to the battles you voted on in the Voting Links Thread.

Negative 1 vote per missing link in next person's battle, INCLUDING THE LOSER

[C.Wrighter]

Check, I'm going 12..

[Slowhands]

you'll go whatever i post first

[Slowhands]

you have no business here, none of ya rhetoric inspires me
so I'll hit you with my dodge ram... how's THAT for irony
I'm in the Army too, but with text don't even start it son
cause the only honor you'll receive
... will be at Arlington
you never get grapic with chicks, must be all your pink ed hardys
closest you'll get to a muff'll
... be standing next to a speaker at parties
go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs
this leagues full of lemons, n this clunker is holdin us up
u'd think Xzibit knocked on my door the way i'm rollin on dubs
so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong

[C.Wrighter]

Checkmate....

btw, i'm a 13B stationed at Ft Bragg, NC. Been in for almost 6 yrs. About to go on my 3rd deployment to Iraq, RC South again.

13 Bravo huh? So you shot M4's and fight wars. Thank god for this VET
He suck at rap so I can understand the need of the steady check
& you said never judge a book by its cover. that's so true
But you suck front to back so would I be judging after facts, you are 0-2?
3rd deployment & you think u tuff when it comes to war, you just a joke
Odds against you like afgan & iraq, when you finish 2 battles w/o 1 vote
Soldier to soldier though I keep my gun loaded and talk slick
On the other hand... I'd think after 6yrs u'd stop going South to suck dick
Fucking prick think you cool wearing army colors and that's not the case
When my Army boots stomping you so hard, the uniform will match your face
Sad thing though; Your punches mostly misses.. You must be torn
stationed in Ft. Bragg & Ur raps only elevate in ur pocket going Airborne



Explanations

Airborne - when people get on a plane to jump out of it on ft. bragg.. Look it up if you don't understand.

- He Has a Open Mic Called "A Book's Cover"

[Essen]

Slowhands

you have no business here, none of ya rhetoric inspires me
so I'll hit you with my dodge ram... how's THAT for irony
^^Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but I don't find this ironic to begin with. So he has no business here because none of his rhetoric. Using that word as either some kind of speech, or the fact that his speech has no real substance. You'll hit him with your dodge ram? I guess it's an exaggeration, but it's a big of a stretch. Even if it is ironic, the punch fell a bit short. You ended the punch in the first half of the second line, the rest just shows that you 'know what irony is'. Wording was ok, but the structure of the punch was off. Original concept, just fell short
I'm in the Army too, but with text don't even start it son
cause the only honor you'll receive
... will be at Arlington
^^Honor punches are played, but this is somewhat of an original flip. Arlington cemetery I guess you were going for? This was ok, simple but effective if it he has any relevance to the Army. Otherwise, it's a bit more swag and out of scope. But this was decent.
you never get grapic with chicks, must be all your pink ed hardys
closest you'll get to a muff'll
... be standing next to a speaker at parties
^^Naw, wasn't an original flip on an already played concept. The misdirection was a bit too predictable as well.
go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs
^^This was cool, woulda been a haymaker if Haiku's were written as 7-5-7 instead of 5-7-5. The concept as a whole is original, so props. But the constructing a verse/punch/etc. relating to buildings or anything like that I've seen too much, especially with constructive criticism. This was close to it, but you took it a different way, wording was solid, this was a solid jab overall.
this leagues full of lemons, n this clunker is holdin us up
u'd think Xzibit knocked on my door the way i'm rollin on dubs
^^What does a league of lemons mean? I even googled it and couldn't find that expression. So the Xzibit/ rollin song, dubs is W for wins, ok. The punch was more of a flex than anything else, but it kind of worked. Original, I'll give you that, I just think the set up was a bit forced here, think you coulda done more with the concept. But this wasn't bad.
so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong
^^Naw this didn't work. Old cliche. The set-up was forced, you brought up his predictability in saying you lost to ALien, but 'didn't you get whore'd by Bong' is just a statement by itself. The punch doesn't really relate to the set-up, especially since you took more of a personal approach in the set up.

When it rained, it poured. You were either very solid, or missed bad. Really liked the Haiku and Arlington line, the Xzibit line was ok, and the rest were misses. Make sure you're actually dissing your opponent throughout the second line (or third if you do 3 bar set up) instead of just cutting it short. A couple played concepts and a couple good flips. Not bad overall.


C Wrighter


13 Bravo huh? So you shot M4's and fight wars. Thank god for this VET
He suck at rap so I can understand the need of the steady check
^^I don't really see the relevance to the quote. The wording was a bit off in this bar as well. So you're saying he sucks at rap, so it's understandable he's there to receive a steady check? That's not really a diss man, whether someone sucks at rap or not (and this is text) someone needs to have something steady to make a living, that's the case with virtually everyone. This missed.
& you said never judge a book by its cover. that's so true
But you suck front to back so would I be judging after facts, you are 0-2?
^^Wording is off here man, shorten up the second line to make it hit harder. Set up was ok, but facts/cover aren't really opposites.. It's a fact that 'See Spot Run' is the title of 'See Spot Run'. You attempted a personal, and the judging after facts, you are 0-2? Doesn't really make any sense. It just fell apart a bit in the punch.
3rd deployment & you think u tuff when it comes to war, you just a joke
Odds against you like afgan & iraq, when you finish 2 battles w/o 1 vote
^^Not bad, this hit pretty hard actually. Worded a lot better than the first two. The one vote/afgan and iraq is a bit forced, but this overall was a solid personal and a solid jab.
Soldier to soldier though I keep my gun loaded and talk slick
On the other hand... I'd think after 6yrs u'd stop going South to suck dick
^^This was ok at best. Going South in terms of a personal, ok, but the other meaning has been used many many times man. The personal attempt was ok, but the execution beginning with the concept was a bit off.
Fucking prick think you cool wearing army colors and that's not the case
When my Army boots stomping you so hard, the uniform will match your face
^^Not bad again, simple, but a decent jab. I like you're going personal, but it's becoming a little repetitive. The punch itself though was decent, a relevant set up and wording was manageable.
Sad thing though; Your punches mostly misses.. You must be torn
stationed in Ft. Bragg & Ur raps only elevate in ur pocket going Airborne
^^Eh a decent personal flip off an old concept of elevating, going up. The personal wasn't bad, wording in the set-up was a bit off. And must be torn? I didn't really get what he's torn between. But this was ok at best.

So you had a couple nice connectors in the middle of your verse. I like the personal outlook, but mix it up as well, otherwise, it's a bit monotonous if not done right. Started out slow, ended a little better, but the middle was your strong point


I was ready to give the vote to Slowhands after the first couple bars of C Wrighters, but C picked it up a bit making it a bit closer. They both had their misses and both had some jabs, but I'll give it Slow in kind of a close one. Slow had the better wording in his misses and they were punches even though they missed bad. His jabs as a whole were better as well. Keep writin, pz.

[Joe Boston]

Slowhands

you have no business here, none of ya rhetoric inspires me
so I'll hit you with my dodge ram... how's THAT for irony
i didnt see this concept relevant at all

I'm in the Army too, but with text don't even start it son
cause the only honor you'll receive
... will be at Arlington
ok i liked this concept i liked how u flipped off the setup nice punch if this was considered a personal jab

you never get grapic with chicks, must be all your pink ed hardys
closest you'll get to a muff'll
... be standing next to a speaker at parties
this made lol a bit i never heard this concept so this a was comical punch to me that hit

go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs
gotta say i like the 757 concept which was cool. i dont know much about haiku's and stuff but how this finisher was executed i wouldnt have based 757 with a haiku punch


this leagues full of lemons, n this clunker is holdin us up
u'd think Xzibit knocked on my door the way i'm rollin on dubs
like the setup because clunkers are with they call lemons lol but wasnt feeling finisher it was more relevant to a statement about urself

so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong
did like this personal and i did like the concept on this finisher

C Wrighter

13 Bravo huh? So you shot M4's and fight wars. Thank god for this VET
He suck at rap so I can understand the need of the steady check
didnt feel finisher was relevant to this setup

& you said never judge a book by its cover. that's so true
But you suck front to back so would I be judging after facts, you are 0-2?
i liked how u flipped this and came with the personal

3rd deployment & you think u tuff when it comes to war, you just a joke
Odds against you like afgan & iraq, when you finish 2 battles w/o 1 vote
ok i really like this concept well executed as well as the personal jab

Soldier to soldier though I keep my gun loaded and talk slick
On the other hand... I'd think after 6yrs u'd stop going South to suck dick
didnt feel this finisher like i said u gotta come with something relevant to the setup


Fucking prick think you cool wearing army colors and that's not the case
When my Army boots stomping you so hard, the uniform will match your face
this was hard here nice and direct good concept on the finisher

Sad thing though; Your punches mostly misses.. You must be torn
stationed in Ft. Bragg & Ur raps only elevate in ur pocket going Airborne
ok again good concept but could have been worded a bit better

Well i thought both heads had some good punches. Slow had some good concepts the arlington punch the ed hardy punch and the personal closer stood out too me. C wrighter also had some good concepts as well but also had a couple bars that wasnt relevant to his setups. he also through a couple personal jabs in there. When it comes down to it though i thought slowhands had the better concepts.

V/slowhands

[Flash]

now evvery1 changin they fonts.. smh


so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong

lol

vs.


Sad thing though; Your punches mostly misses.. You must be torn
stationed in Ft. Bragg & Ur raps only elevate in ur pocket going Airborne

weak... i felt like u were tryin to hardd with the army lines n didn't really connect on them.

i got slow takin this i only quoted 1 bar but the arlington line was ok too.
v-slow

[ArchDevil]

you have no business here, none of ya rhetoric inspires me
so I'll hit you with my dodge ram... how's THAT for irony
^ hm, i thought this was clever-ish...pretty original

I'm in the Army too, but with text don't even start it son
cause the only honor you'll receive
... will be at Arlington
^ ehh, okish

you never get grapic with chicks, must be all your pink ed hardys
closest you'll get to a muff'll
... be standing next to a speaker at parties
^ seen similar concept before...but this was somewhat a newer flip

go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs
^ lol this was hella creative imo...dopeness

this leagues full of lemons, n this clunker is holdin us up
u'd think Xzibit knocked on my door the way i'm rollin on dubs
^ ehhh, not really feelin this

so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong
^ lol cool

vs.


13 Bravo huh? So you shot M4's and fight wars. Thank god for this VET
He suck at rap so I can understand the need of the steady check
^ ehh, more of a statement...not hard hittin imo

& you said never judge a book by its cover. that's so true
But you suck front to back so would I be judging after facts, you are 0-2?
^ i liked the set-up a lot here, but the finisher didnt come as hard as that, not bad though, just not that spectacular

3rd deployment & you think u tuff when it comes to war, you just a joke
Odds against you like afgan & iraq, when you finish 2 battles w/o 1 vote
^ this flew over my head tbh...didnt make much of an impact

Soldier to soldier though I keep my gun loaded and talk slick
On the other hand... I'd think after 6yrs u'd stop going South to suck dick
^ not feelin this

Fucking prick think you cool wearing army colors and that's not the case
When my Army boots stomping you so hard, the uniform will match your face
^ aha, this was pretty cool

Sad thing though; Your punches mostly misses.. You must be torn
stationed in Ft. Bragg & Ur raps only elevate in ur pocket going Airborne
^ not really feelin this


well, in some way this was a close battle...but i got slow with a bit more consistent verse...and lotb with the 7-5-7...dont know if shit was done before but thought it was dope...c wrighter wasnt bad, but more of a hit and miss verse...thought slow had a more complex approach and harder punches
vote - slowhands

[Kontext]

go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs

vs

nothing

vote-slowhands for the simple fact that he had a better attack angle and seemed a bit lackluster in itself but imo topped a very plain verse & poor wording from wrighter...had decent concepts at best and stressed the Army lines too much.

[Bongkers]

go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs

this was fuckin dope^

rest of your verse was str8.. nothing crazy but no misses


vs.

Nothing really, no hate C your wording just kills you bro, some of your concepts have potential you just gota figure out how to deliver em right.

V - Slowhands

[King]

you never get grapic with chicks, must be all your pink ed hardys
closest you'll get to a muff'll
... be standing next to a speaker at parties
go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs
so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong

vs

3rd deployment & you think u tuff when it comes to war, you just a joke
Odds against you like afgan & iraq, when you finish 2 battles w/o 1 vote


Wrighter went a little too heavy on the army theme for such a short verse. slows muffle line was easily LOTB, funny shit.

vote Slow

[Alphabet]

go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs
so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong

vs

3rd deployment & you think u tuff when it comes to war, you just a joke
Odds against you like afgan & iraq, when you finish 2 battles w/o 1 vote


i have slow catching the W here, more impact and more consistant.

[Fatal.]

go back to the poet's society, this soft ass herb isn't tuff
cause i'll fly a 7-5-7 into any haiku verse he constructs
so drop an alien punch, but didn't you get whore'd by Bong?
only time you brought something new to a table
... you got my order wrong

vs

Fucking prick think you cool wearing army colors and that's not the case
When my Army boots stomping you so hard, the uniform will match your face

not a bad battle, but i feel Slowhands had a slightly more polished verse and came a little bit harder.
v/slow

[The Archetype]

you never get grapic with chicks, must be all your pink ed hardys
closest you'll get to a muff'll
... be standing next to a speaker at parties
this leagues full of lemons, n this clunker is holdin us up
u'd think Xzibit knocked on my door the way i'm rollin on dubs

vs

Fucking prick think you cool wearing army colors and that's not the case
When my Army boots stomping you so hard, the uniform will match your face

CW focused too much on the military shit and it didn't hit hard... almost quoted the 757 shit, but a haiku is 575 so that threw it off...

vote Slow