i wrote this quite a while back when i was just writing fun/ joke songs full of wordplay and jokes...
lets see how many you can get...
A slut’s best asset is here ‘lie’ ability
Like a school PC, they go down regularly
Used to be a vegan, but ate KFC
I guess that means, I lost my veg-inity
Went out with a grape, you could call it a date
We whining, dining, then I told here I’m in
A chess team, please don’t hate
At a chess board, sick, it was stale-mate
Punching the clock just to kill the time
Rhyming so sweet it should be a daim
Walked into a stadium at 6 O’clock
Where are all the fans, it’s really hot
This is my first verse, you want more?
Like a cancer patient I got two more
So take the beat and break it down slow
About me, there’s one thing you should know
I got amnesia
I got amnesia
I got amnesia
I got amnesia
Only read one book, 1984
I’ll never do it again, it was piss poor
Orwell, I get more head than a sanmiguel
Get more gash than a girl who’s suicidal
Get more butt than a heavy chain smoker
Met a girl playing cards, now I wanna poker
But it don’t matter if your JT or Florence Nightingale, just quiver
Cause either way you’re going to cry me river
Of your cum
Darth Vader lost and obi wan
Vader had a black helmet just like Elton John
I couldn’t move my pen or ruler
Well hey, that’s stationary for ya
On the web watching two girls one cup
Like a Calculator broke, it just doesn’t add up
Justin Beiber, I’ll give him a miss
Just like a toilet, it takes the piss
I need a new job so I thought jigalow
I wish I hadn’t but like a baker I need the doh
(chorus)
I walked into a pub with a Stella on my head and said
Hey, the beers are on me
No……not funny?
I went to go bowling, but there were on strike
They want more money, spare me the shite
So I went home and then wii were bowling
Knocking down whites like I’m Martin Luther king
Like a forum full of racists I like to discuss
Or a gay mathematician shopping at pi-fag-R-US
But forget that its history
My rhymes are more infectious than HBV
Worryingly, a girl asked me
Why you not upset about your HIV
Well I guess I’m staying positive
Com’n girl you wish you were the causative
And all I hear is “you suck” well that’s just my luck
But I’m abstinent, couldn’t give fuck.
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