Between Me & You

[SoulWriter]

Literally wrote this in 5 mins. Good/ Bad/ Potential?

Get out of my mind, I don't want you here
Stay clear of my mind, don't provoke my fear
I'm different, unlike, you and the rest
So stay out of my mind, I'd say that would be best
My brain hurts, I'm tired of you
In spurts, I think of what I would do to you
You are the one that dropped down from the sky
In to my life, on the outside
Erase you from the thoughts that wander my mind
I wish you could sense the feelings I hide
How did I ever lay eyes on your beauty
How did I ever let you even get through to me
A big mistake I cant take back
I await and hope my memory fades to black
Between me and you, I appreciate you living
I am truly sincere, I'm not only just kidding

[SoulWriter]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...093/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...151/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...134/index.html

[<SamPle>]

flows quite well but is simple..... but not to say its bad.

try some metaphors and similies in there
Potential!!

[Nate Strayer]

flows quite well but is simple..... but not to say its bad.

try some metaphors and similies in there
Potential!!

^ I agree , try and use '' a not so simple wordplay ''..some would say. Expand your vocabulary some. The flow was great though actually , it all just seemed some what simple. Keep at it man , keep jotin' down shit and you'll elevate.

[~ItHurtZ]

not to bad man was was alright just annoyed me how you kept repeating stay out of my mind haha i reckon it would be better if you made it a song..but overall not to bad nice imagery in there