The Day We Ended

[evensteven25]

The Day We Ended

You have your friends
And I have mine
I want the truth
And you tell your lies
No need to bicker
So I think its time
You were all I had
Apart of me
I covered you
You covered me
But now you must leave

You took everything, everything I ever gave you (Ever gave you)
You were never, ever anything before I met you (Before I met you)
I thought we were, thought we were so much better (So much better)
We never stood a chance,
So lets walk away
Not gonna waste another minute
Call today the day we ended
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

We are over
Don’t you get it
I put up with you
And all of your shit
I gave you my best
You gave me your worse
I brought you pleasure
But you brought me hurt
You were all I had
Apart of me
I covered you
You covered me
But now you must leave

(Chorus)

You took everything, everything I ever gave you (Ever gave you)
You were never, ever anything before I met you (Before I met you)
I thought we were, thought we were so much better…

(Chorus)

[WhatsHisFace]

It's cool. To be honest its a little mediocre. You should really put some power into your details. I mean you got the message out, but I think you should have thought outside the box. Next time your going to write a piece that has to deal with a deep situation, i.e. relationships, put power to the emotion. Get deep into the detail. In your verse you want be furious. Not mad.

Other than that, the structure is nice. clean and simple. Also adding the ending of your first verse to your second verse was cool. Cool drop, but next time show colors and get into the emotion.