Fatal

[Fatal.]

I'm fatally spitting, i'm able to stay gripping
Victories they be slipping with capability of killing
Any competition stepping in my zone of view
You know who's gonna be at the top of the game
Roaming through, on his own debut, known to break you
Fuck whoever hates me and thumbs up to whoever hates you
I can't wait to smoke the haze that's gray and blue
Purple and black, i'm murking the track
Hurting the haters lurking in the back
Who don't wanna see me hurt em' with a strap
Leave him hurdling over benches and fences
The tension is intense when i finish a sentence
Everything i do or say i meant it
You say your confidence is straight, then i bent it
Totally demolishing people physically and lyrically
I'm fatal when i disable the cable to your fable
AKA your dreams of breaking me, but i'm fatal B
And i do everything fatally, i'll break ya knee
Break ya dome, take the chrome, take your estates and homes
Scrape your bones, lasers and tazers now the haters gone
Make a song, Scrape the bong, but i can't stay too long
Cuz my business is fatal, so stick with the program
You fuck with me your dead, I will never back down to no man
My own hands will totally desinegrate people stepping up
I'll leave em left in the dust when i got seventy
Guns ready to bust, cut you with machettes covered in heavy rust
So it will be deadly whenever your getting cut
Your gettin set up if your in my fucking area dude
I'm prepared to do the worst, so prepare for your doom
Let the haters consume what i got for them which is hiddin
When im spittin, i'm slitting and killing
When the tension is building, the feeling is crazy
And is effecting them crazily
They label me fatal because i do everything fatally.

Just a Keystyle.

[Fatal.]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...981/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...968/index.html

[ThaUnknown]

Fuck whoever hates me and thumbs up to whoever hates you
You say your confidence is straight, then i bent it

Both lines definitely have that "ooohh" factor, u got punchlines like a mufucka, i think the ending could've been better, i like your mult's very dope, i could someone having a sick flow with that, good shit

[Fatal.]

haha thanks mann ive been workin on my text

[6feetdeep]

Yeah as guy above mentioned, your punchlines are definitely your strong point when writing. This is the kind of hip hop I am used to hearing and I know more people don't listen or read these old school style pieces. But in my opinion, when done good they can sound incredible. I'm pretty sure you pulled it off, their were a few lines I was a bit iffy on, but thats just a case of you going over it. Personally, if i write a piece style like this, I go over and if there is one line that isnt as good, make it as good. Sound simple but some rappers when they are finished writing the last line assume its perfect.



Nice piece though bro keep it coming

[6feetdeep]

Yeah as guy above mentioned, your punchlines are definitely your strong point when writing. This is the kind of hip hop I am used to hearing and I know more people don't listen or read these old school style pieces. But in my opinion, when done good they can sound incredible. I'm pretty sure you pulled it off, their were a few lines I was a bit iffy on, but thats just a case of you going over it. Personally, if i write a piece style like this, I go over and if there is one line that isnt as good, make it as good. Sound simple but some rappers when they are finished writing the last line assume its perfect.



Nice piece though bro keep it coming

[F63]

Pretty hard hitting drop there. My favorite line was "Fuck whoever hates me and thumbs up to whoever hates you". I really felt the anger (if that's what you'd call it) when spitting this in my head. I don't know a lot about rap, so sorry if the feed isn't very detailed, but I guess, use more multis? Not sure if I have the definition right, but I think I do.

[Fatal.]

thanks fellaz, but F63.. the whole drop was multies? lol multies are

Purple and black, i'm murking the track
Hurting the haters lurking in the back
Who don't wanna see me hurt em' with a strap

^ those are multies and their were a lot of them throughout. it's "multiple words that rhyme" thats why their called multies

but good looks for feed

[F63]

thanks fellaz, but F63.. the whole drop was multies? lol multies are

Purple and black, i'm murking the track
Hurting the haters lurking in the back
Who don't wanna see me hurt em' with a strap

^ those are multies and their were a lot of them throughout. it's "multiple words that rhyme" thats why their called multies

but good looks for feed

Sorry, I had the wrong definition...

:doofy:

^me

[Fatal.]

haha its all good man you gotta learn some how

[The Scientist]

Im feeling it man The Vocabulary was on point. and as the people before me said The punchlines were there. Im just unsure if this was a rant or a written rap. Because The meaning and topic TO ME personnally were just all over the place. But other than that good Peice

[Frantikk]

Pretty dope. Dig the structure and flow, pretty solid multies (which don't have to be multiple words though it helps, also refers to multi syllable rhyming, ie. Hat, bat, cat being whack) Liked the lines "The tension is intense when i finish a sentence" and "You say your confidence is straight, then i bent it" best part IMO. The inners were nice towards the end, helped with the flow alot. Would say try to expand your vocab and concepts a lil bit, for a keystyle it's not bad tho.

[Goretex]

i like the flow to this more than anything and that's really all that stood out here.. i felt like it lacked in some skill- meaning no similes, metaphors or puns, or any shit of that sort... when doing pieces like this, that's what a lot of people look for, just saying. but like i said, it had a real nice flow so it wasn't too bad. just try and be more creative with your bars, rather than just basing a piece like this on it's flow..

[<SamPle>]

shit man, im starting to like your drops! multi ryhmes are really nice you do that well, like to see more punchline tough (abit more "fuck you") if you know what i mean.

you do audio?

[Fatal.]

yea i got mostly old shit posted up though. ive been dropping a few songs recently but they've been finished a few months ago. im waiting to buy better equipment and writing even better material for my new cd in 2012 so look out for it