User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Damages

  1. #1
    Ars Longa Vita Brevis English's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Between Order & Chaos
    Posts
    814

    Damages

    (just a lil old verse ive chopped from a collab)

    let's test the waters...

    ...

    ..

    .


    Ayt so, life’s a question…
    Fuck if I know what the answer is,
    …Here’s a man that lived
    A fantasist’s expansive myth;
    But I authored it
    with a sordid wit,
    & the ash from some lit cannabis,
    Look closely at lil old me,
    you’ll see where the canvas sniffs
    - and breathes -
    a candid kid void of santa’s gifts,
    soon grew to be cancerous,
    But I’m an artist too, so are you…
    ...start to view the truth thru all the accrued callouses,
    Blemishes from nemeses,
    While other scars hark back to lovers with a strangled grip,
    The damages? I handled it…
    …in the only manner which such a man could live,
    Lived life off-keel…
    …my steez was a drunkard’s staggering,
    Ambling to an unknown home wonderin where the fuck my balance is!?
    College student dropout but through prudence got mouth,
    So I shout to the muhfuckin sky every night to get it right,
    Old, broken, mangled and aloof but calm,
    Among stone totems angled at my roof of stars.


    ...

    ..

    .

    1 2 3

    gimme good feed and I'll return feed as good if not better.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    3,518
    Battle Record
    44-45

    Re: Damages

    This had a very poetic feel to it, also had that type of structure. the vocab and word choices you used made me have a sort of vivid portayal of what you were saying. had some complexity to it. flowed good. its a small peice but still cool. keep writing

  3. #3
    SCREENSHOT ASSASSIN Tool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    1,085

    Re: Damages

    ayt cool, ill get you back soonish
    Impart wisdom
    In part wishing
    The wit-starved listen
    & dim sparks glisten.

  4. #4
    Newbie Heaven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    30

    Re: Damages

    It was a sick verse but when the lines get a bit stretched the flow threw me off. its not bad though. LOVED the idea, the word play and imagery.
    Keep it up man

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  5. #5
    SCREENSHOT ASSASSIN Tool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    1,085

    Re: Damages

    lul
    Impart wisdom
    In part wishing
    The wit-starved listen
    & dim sparks glisten.

Similar Threads

  1. How masturbation damages the body
    By Trey Songz in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: February 28th, 2011, 11:26 PM
  2. How Masturbation Damages the Body
    By BootyLover in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: June 13th, 2008, 05:00 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •