Old lyrics

[Joedahoe]

Yall niggas shit and
i aint talkin bout no bowl movements.
your lyrics weak, they can use some fowl improvements.
i know im new on the block ,but if you ask me
ill tell you i should be on top.
skip niggas like im a skippin stone
my spit is strong, i work hard to keep it tone.
got this game on lock and you aint got a pick.
if you ask me for the key, ill point right above my dick.
stickin to the script let me quote a nigga
im in this bitch, and im here to stay, ill latch on
to her fuckin liver.
fuck the world and get money, these niggas think im playin
but imma keep cumin.
stuntin hard like i need attention, nigga please
if i didnt know any better i would PAY ATTENTION.
and yes i am lost in the music
and if you niggas can find me then we on the same level
light a stoogie
but never mind all that
what happened to the old days, like when we used to watch all. that?
push pause and fast forward like a bad movie
today people in the game, but dont know how
to manuever it.
i bounce out like ya bitch did to me
and if you ask me, that shit just to juicy
so get it right this aint a commendation
i just popped off and i aint takin bout an ankle.


old lyrics i found from 2 years ago.please fire away.
i think there is some good in this though.but very VERY little.

[Joedahoe]

i added some stuff to be fair.

[IVIario]

Ok I'm gonna sound harsh here, but most of that was pretty bad. Here, Ill break it down.

Yall niggas shit and
i aint talkin bout no bowl movements.
your lyrics weak, they can use some fowl improvements.
This sounds lame, and what is a fowl improvement? Isn't an improvement suppose to be good, not fowl?

i know im new on the block ,but if you ask me
ill tell you i should be on top.
Simple. Wayy to simple

skip niggas like im a skippin stone
my spit is strong, i work hard to keep it tone.
got this game on lock and you aint got a pick.
if you ask me for the key, ill point right above my dick.
I don't get either of these lines. The key to the rap game is your dick?

stickin to the script let me quote a nigga
im in this bitch, and im here to stay, ill latch on
to her fuckin liver.
latch on to her liver? Da fuck

fuck the world and get money, these niggas think im playin
but imma keep cumin.
stuntin hard like i need attention, nigga please
if i didnt know any better i would PAY ATTENTION.
and yes i am lost in the music
and if you niggas can find me then we on the same level
light a stoogie
but never mind all that
what happened to the old days, like when we used to watch all. that?
push pause and fast forward like a bad movie
today people in the game, but dont know how
to manuever it.
i bounce out like ya bitch did to me
and if you ask me, that shit just to juicy
so get it right this aint a commendation
i just popped off and i aint takin bout an ankle.
Well, this is just all over the place. Ive heard wayne say alot of the same shit here too.

Work on a better flow, a structured rhyme scheme. Better vocab. No hate, but this kind of rap is the sterotypical rap people hate. Elevate like crazy. Stay up. I'm not hating just telling you whats up.

[Joedahoe]

ya i feel you.this is reallly old.i kinda changed some of the wording because before it was much much worse. this isnt how i write anymore.check out my other peices and ill return the favor.
thanks for the fb though.