One Line Feeds

[143]

I sit, spit battles between fingers and intellect
Looking for feed for introspect but getting disrespect
Some tight lines take night times and 3 cups of soda
To shoulder the expectation to drop dimes, "I'm 'Hova"
Hell even those with Magna Cum Laude stamped resume's
Garnering reviews of "that's tight!" feeling dismayed
We know that the rules require esquire type quoting
And some responses are watered down nuances of ill noting
So lately the Open Mic board is fishing, catch and release
I'm waiting for someone else drop....

wow this is an amazing peice

I fight writer's block, hold the corner, my shit's hot
Intervene with weed and Twinkies, I rip shops
But I'm fed things that deceive me with misspelling
Please relieve me from Ponzi feeding that you selling
Better telling those that I appreciate that, like a favor
Cause one line feed germinate that, flights of failure
So if you can't go into detail about the shit you like
Why even do you spit and write?

was a good read nice multis in there as well keep up the good work

In the words of Ice Cube....

Please feed right on drops...I want you dumb muthafuckas to live.....

[143]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showpost...9&postcount=12
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showpost...25&postcount=4
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showpost...3&postcount=10

[Express'on]

Dope

*Edit

Just playing yea bro ur right, I try at least 2 lines...lol...naw I think the first stanza was def. ur strongest I had a verse like this I'm going to dig it up and post it..u inspired me...lol...Good vocab, rhyme scheme was on point, and you said what you had to do...

P.S. I hate people who have like 3 whole stanzas quoted with a sentence of feed...I think They think the more space they waste the better their feed will look

[143]

thanks for the feed..lol, writers will write and haters will hate. This thread might catch a few....

[Extinctor Draconis]

it's ironic that your first link is shitty feed

other 2 links are straight

[KnowP]

Nice attack on the lazy ass responses to OM drops fam. ironically the first feedback you get is the very essence of this whole piece. I dont doubt for a moment that he didnt even read or understand it and became the subject instantly. There was some good multi's involved here but unfortunately there were some grammatically issues that threw this piece off and distracted it from become a great read. I really like how you used the concept though. Stay up my Infekted brutha!


PS - anyone leavin shady feedback will be banned for an hour

[Frantikk]

"Intervene with weed and Twinkies"

Lol Dope^^ Real solid flow and structure on this. Creative concepts and rhyme scheme, overall dope shit dawg. Guess a little harder metas and vocab could up this a bit but it does have a unique style IMO. Stay up

[SenecaHaze]

i liked your subject and hwo you attacked it. Overall a good piece.

I fight writer's block, hold the corner, my shit's hot
Intervene with weed and Twinkies, I rip shops

thought that could have been flipped better.

also thought the ending could have been better.

other than that i liked it all the rhyme scheme, the subject, the structure and flow.The originality of it was the best part tho.

i actually read it to two different beats they switched over and the flow stayed good so lol u can tell it flows well at that point hah.

good drop.

[143]

Link one restructured

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showpost...6&postcount=13

[MADDNES53]

I'm feeling this. I like your subject matter. It resonates with me. Everyone has their own style and I try to explain why I liked it. I think that your piece was great because it is relevant. You know that you are on a forum. This makes it easier for me to take you seriously. If I were to give you feed on your rhymes, it would be beside the point. What you say is just as important as how you say it.

[Prolific]

lmao, good shit bro,..
the introspective you've conveyed on the said piece is intricately placed in retrospective to inadequate Ill-conceived assessments, which in actuality you structure was superb in relation to the memorandum. my sediments are that this in fact was by far more Superior then the naked eye perceived.

ahem, had to get those 2 classy ass lines in there for ya brah, translation= ill shit son, keep at it.. i dont needa tell you anything, you're on point

[143]

lmao, good shit bro,..
the introspective you've conveyed on the said piece is intricately placed in retrospective to inadequate Ill-conceived assessments, which in actuality you structure was superb in relation to the memorandum. my sediments are that this in fact was by far more Superior then the naked eye perceived.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Thanks for the feed.....

[ItoldUIwasFat]

def feeling this piece man..loved the flow this had i thought that was a great aspect of this piece. i gotta be honest though this was to short for me to really get it on it lol..i mean what you have is dope and def feel where you coming from..but theres isnt to much depth to this..though this def hit hard from top to bottom. great way to express the BS of the OM feel me OG?..lol

dope piece but i could of used a little more content.

[Obese Chess]

That was absolutely fucking excellent. It really catches you off-guard - the first line or two is like, "oh, look, another self-hype written," but then you get to the meat of it, especially the second to last line.
You obviously had a lot of fun with this. Keep up the good work.

[Jukon]

lmao this was funny. nothing great or spectacular but the concept itself was pretty damn entertaining. and im sure all of us can relate when we get those cursed 1 line feeds that its annoying as fuck and makes u wanna punch babies.

anyhow on to your piece

on a technical note, it was missing a lot, some of your word choices were just bad. however i can appreciate the comedic route taken here and somewhat disregard it. i felt the flow was a bit awkward, you would have a buttery flow line but then ur end rhyme would fuck it up.

ie:
Better telling those that I appreciate that, like a favor
Cause one line feed germinate that, flights of failure

in retrospect, it SEEMS like it should rhyme. but it doesnt. its a huge slant rhyme. fay-vor
fail-ur

it just doesnt have the same assonance. and it bothers me. anyhow cool piece, i appreciate the honesty and the lulz it provided. hope this feed suffices.