Untitled

[thatdudeB]

"Easily Hard"

ayo, looking in pieces of glass, looking like secrets of past
little known facts teases the mask, and my demons don't ask
they just steal no questions, my mind they reveal all sections
hearts feeling tension like i'ma squeel on mens sins
sorta like i'm rattin out my bro's shit, all i wanna do is grow quick
i do flows kid that stole shit, tryna stay original, too crazed to know bit
and keep biting substance, i'll keep writing nothings
so nobody applying abundances of bullshit, rhyming love is
so lemme take a minute and for my sake get sickest
polluted thoughts make me saddistic, wheres god, satan insists
and when the globe do still will ya whole get ill?
or will you pray for the apocalypto to kill?
but now that theres nobody else, i think i'ma go kill self
all i did was bluff i guess, i shown my poker tells
laying here depressed, hoping, no, praying for deaths

[thatdudeB]

theres more, just can't type anymore on ps3 for some reason

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...679/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...610/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...269/index.html

[itzjoe54]

I like the rhyme scheme of this keep it up

[thatdudeB]

thanks.. for this verse i was just going for something that i'd flow well like, in front of people

[ArcherPriest]

yea homie, nice flow on this.. first two lines wuz tough.. felt incomplete tho, u should post the rest i felt like you were leadin up to sum'n n left us hangin

so lemme take a minute and for my sake get sickest
polluted thoughts make me saddistic, wheres god, satan insists
and when the globe do still will ya whole get ill?
or will you pray for the apocalypto to kill?

- i like the way this sounded, but i dont get the 'when the globe do still will ya whole get ill' part?.. maybe its jus me, i feel like i somewhat understand what ur tryin to say but at the same time its still unclear

[143]

Flow was good with some places being off. Some of the lines were unclear about how it relates to the topic and was meant, to me, as a filler. The vocab was also a good point and some of the imagery flashed with those points but work on staying with the content of the topic and make every line count if you are doing a piece like the one you dropped. Comedic pieces can be all over the place at one point to show funniness but tighten up the lines and keep an overall good flow and you have some nice drops.

[A.T.]

This is a typical keystyle, imo. No offense, but the topic (if there
was one) wasn't clear and it seemed that you were focusing on what
rhyme would come next, so it left the topic and the flow feeling forced.
One thing that might benefit you in future drops is to make notes of
key things that you want to include in order to support your topic. To me,
you would benefit greatly off of doing that alone and then you can branch
out to more complex topics and even give them a poetic feel. Keep dropping

[KnowP]

This piece needs alot of work to me. One thing that stood out was the lack of structure. Seems like it was a freestyle and you didnt take time to center you thinking process and wrap it around one concept. id like to see the revised edition. Rhyme scheme was really off as well, but thats probably due to the freestyle mentality. keep at it bro. focus.

one love.