Birthday Wish

[Daughter of Gaia]

And for your birthday wish, my darling…

I would like just a taste of your dream upon my lips, seal your mind with an unconditional kiss
Then shift and uplift your heart to feelin’ bliss
Take you on this magic carpet ride of mine then drink wine in the grapevine of the divine
Life is what we design, beginning within the mind
Blessed with success, manifest the best for my royal highness of the lioness kindness
I deliver what is promised thru every prayer and compromise
Joy is the feeling of being free and will one day get you singing this song right along with me…
While it plays on the radio on our way to Yellowstone, riding in our new Chevy Tahoe, is how we’ll roll
Look within to awaken and see to believe in the beauty that is you
Remember to always stay true and I will do the same too
Love is energy so feel it in everything, even your spirit I’ve come to adorn
Whispering my sweet nothings about how much I’ve been missin’ you since I was born
You are the inspiration to my every song and poem, incase you didn’t know
Words spoken from the heart of my own and flow to where you sit on your throne
A sacred place we can call, Om sweet Home
Courage is felt through compassion to live a life with passion…
Can you just imagine, making and creating love in our new mansion?
Luxurious green acres of dreamscapes
Unfold into shapes of what our minds can create, even our own, Heaven on Earth, real-estate
Make a wish, then blow out your candle on this birthday cake, then woo you to bathe in our own private lake
Get drunk off of my magic love potion, dancing in the light of freedom with good fortune
People, places and things, what will make your heart sing?
Is how we put our dreams into motion and immerse every vision with emotion thru third eye notion
Fight off your nightmares with these words of encouragement
Let love be your nourishment for your seeds of dreams…
To feed thy soul, reborn with a heart of gold, let your spirit unfold and your love outpour toward every goal
You are my spark of inspiration thru divination for deliberate creation
Change a nation thru my poetic sensation to prepare for this transformation
The world is our stage, look within and dream big
We are free to have or be anything we want to see and achieve
Manifest a life of make-believe, good karma is what you’ll receive
Everything is kundalini, energy life force, the source flowing thru you and me, including money, honey
Life of abundance, living in prosperity shared in divine love, will always be leavin’ you feelin’ sunny
You are a mind magnet, projecting every conscious fragment of life’s miracles, manifested magic

[Daughter of Gaia]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...308/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...915/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...354/index.html

[Nohbody]

sup luv, long time no see

This was very heart felt. Your imagery is always on point. Your words are very poetic but i think in your style of writing the issue of 'flow' will always be your weak side. I like how you just start at point A and flood out your emotion and deep inner thoughts all the way to point B.

You are very true to your words and i cant appreciate it enough when people open their hearts and let view the substance inside them. always, deep poetic . . . and i like that your posts stray away from normal structure and formats you commonly see in most peoples work (including mine) . . . come around more often. . . drop more often

[2XL]

liked the very poetic feel too it. Alot different from wat im used to reading on here which is good. imagery was on point. got some skillz

[Unfukwitable]

I was diggin this piece def could picture it your writting structure was also on point nice choice of wording & nice vision . keep it up i would like to read more from you .

[Masahiko]

I enjoyed this, I felt a mix between old slug mixed with the feeling tupacs verse about thugs mansion lol weird I know.

You have a tendency to step out of bounds with your syllable count, but like in slugs case, it's so much good, you can't really call it bad. Your poetic touch in this was beautiful, I don't see why it's getting slept on.

I think the only real thing you can do to enhance it is to just trim it down a little bit and have the real deep emotional parts flow from one to the other. I mean don't make it boring but you can lose certain things, like the Chevy Tahoe thing it was unnecessary imo. Things like that.

Thank you for the piece darlin' I enjoyed it.

[Daughter of Gaia]

I enjoyed this, I felt a mix between old slug mixed with the feeling tupacs verse about thugs mansion lol weird I know.

You have a tendency to step out of bounds with your syllable count, but like in slugs case, it's so much good, you can't really call it bad. Your poetic touch in this was beautiful, I don't see why it's getting slept on.

I think the only real thing you can do to enhance it is to just trim it down a little bit and have the real deep emotional parts flow from one to the other. I mean don't make it boring but you can lose certain things, like the Chevy Tahoe thing it was unnecessary imo. Things like that.

Thank you for the piece darlin' I enjoyed it.

This piece I've written for my girlfriend last year for her birthday. I won't go into much detail, but I've started to do some dabbling into manifesting thru thought/feeling and started studying quantum physics and such a few years prior to this piece. We decided to manifest our 'dream puppy' (An all white Siberian Husky). We found a picture of one and tacked onto a board where we could look at it everyday to focus our intentions. Yes, it would just be easier to look online, find one for that would be expensive and have it shipped to us, without knowing whether or not it came from a puppy mill. However, in our case, we wanted the universe to do it's magic and deliver us our 'desire' (puppy). My girlfriend decided that we should volunteer at the animal shelter. We used to talk about the puppy we wanted while we were there on and off. A week or two passed and an prison inmate who was working off his sentence came up to us and gave us a phone number to a breeder he heard whom had one white husky puppy left. So we picked him up that night for only $300, pure breed with papers and got to see the parents onsite and the breeder lived down the road from us. Cool. So the 'Chevy Tahoe' was one of her intentions to manifest, so I threw it in there so it felt personal to her... and thus far, it's been a cool ride.

I agree, the structure of the piece drags on on some parts, but I was fairly new to writing poetry and still finding my niche. Thank you kindly for the feedback. Love.

[.::DEFiANT::.]

The beginning through me off for some reason it looked like you were searching for a beginning to this too hard or not hard enough... but you did what you intended to do you kept me readin.. vocabulary is insane

[InCizion]

Love is energy so feel it in everything, even your spirit I’ve come to adorn
Whispering my sweet nothings about how much I’ve been missin’ you since I was born
You are the inspiration to my every song and poem, incase you didn’t know
Words spoken from the heart of my own and flow to where you sit on your throne
A sacred place we can call, Om sweet Home
Courage is felt through compassion to live a life with passion…
Can you just imagine, making and creating love in our new mansion?
Luxurious green acres of dreamscapes
Unfold into shapes of what our minds can create, even our own, Heaven on Earth, real-estate
Make a wish, then blow out your candle on this birthday cake, then woo you to bathe in our own private lake


I liked this part.... This had a poetic feel to it. If you were trying to be more poetic than this was nice.. If you were aiming for a Hip Hop feel than I felt some lines were long....

nice read.... I'm sure your girlfriend loved it....and I hope you got some...