Reflections in the Mirror

[El Chapo]

Beautiful piece, guys. Well written. You know I'm not usually into this deep style, but I need to give it a chance. Jeff, you came real deep it was like you were giving some type of speech with a purpose. Dope shit, brother. Style & Arche had a more similar style with their flows (multis.) Didn't know Style had a deep flow like this either. Good to know. And Arche of course you came hard and murdered it like you always do. 

Overall this is a dope piece. All you guys had creativity and all came together to do a dope written.


Good luck, maybe this can make it to OM of the month. 

[#PrimeTime]

appreciate the feed Ric.

#BaseBoyzAppreciation

Uppn

[@ThisIsPumper]

I'ma be honest with you guys, I didn't like this too much.

Jeff, I thought your lines were stretched bro. It was deep n all, but when I started texting I use to write like this. No hate homie.

Style, I thought you had the strongest verse. Your flow was on point... Content was cool, but your flow really had me going.

Arch yours was the second strongest imo. I don't like long ass lines, I think it kills the flow.

Overall, it wasn't bad. Not my style at all... You know I'm about swag, not some depressed ish. But I don't regret reading.

[Jukon]

This was a nice collab, 3 really different styles. Haven't seen this kind of material from you at all Jeff, and not sure if I have from style. Ive
Read a few topicals from arch and he's definitely got that nice poetic style. And I hate to say it, but imo arch outshined the other 2. Style had a pretty dope verse also. I feel Jeff was the weak link, but he still had a solid verse, no complaints. It was a good collab tho, solid concept and I liked the execution. Good shit here fellas.

[illuminare.]

This was cool the best verse was actually arch I don't know why I like his more but the other two were cool keep writing all of you

[#PrimeTime]

This was a nice collab, 3 really different styles. Haven't seen this kind of material from you at all Jeff, and not sure if I have from style. Ive
Read a few topicals from arch and he's definitely got that nice poetic style. And I hate to say it, but imo arch outshined the other 2. Style had a pretty dope verse also. I feel Jeff was the weak link, but he still had a solid verse, no complaints. It was a good collab tho, solid concept and I liked the execution. Good shit here fellas.

thanks jukon good sir. 'preciate the feed my man. We weren't trying to outshine each other, but you're right, it was 3 different styles and points of view. Thats what we aimed for to say the least.

anyways.....uppn

[ThaUnknown]

Not much i could critique everyone brought their A game, but i did feel like Jeffry could of used more multi's to help everything kind of piece together. And i think Arch had the best verse.

Here is everybody's best lines in my opinion:

The Archetype:
I question my reflection. What I see doesn't reveal all that I'm stressing
I know it's my equal but that person feels like someone from another dimension

Mr. Style:
But I'm the hottest thing goin, and when I look at my reflection
Perception eats my inside.. My lifes no different from a recession

Jeffry:
Reflect on my present life, but my mind wants me to keep livin in the past,
Im trying to slow down but my foot keeps accelerating on the pedal fast,

[Genocide]

mr styles and arch killed this.. diggin styles flow the most. arch had stronger depth

the first guy came off nice in concept but had too much run on shit going on. how the hell do you spit a verse like that?

dope collab, props styles

[#PrimeTime]

thanks uppn

[The Archetype]

thanks for the feed...

[#PrimeTime]

thx for the feed everyone.

bump.

[Daughter of Gaia]

Jeffry:

“Jeff, youre a disgrace to this family”, that’s all I hear on a daily basis,
Lettin everyone down, wishin there was something I could do to change the look on their faces,
Look at the family album, each picture is the same - every picture is a blur,
Turn the page, I see everyone disappointed in me, so I ask myself when did this occur
Reflect on my present life, but my mind wants me to keep livin in the past,
Im trying to slow down but my foot keeps accelerating on the pedal fast,
The road goes on for miles, I slowly begin to slow down, but my visions aren’t clear,
Lookin back into my life, like im always stuck lookin behind me, like whats in the mirror,
Overconfidence was my rise, getting cut short was my downfall back to reality,
Just wish I could be appreciated be every member of society, including my family,
Mirrors crack every time I take a glance, guess I wasn’t worth being invested in,
Lookin back now, my every thought and action has me simply second guessin

I didn't really feel where you were coming from in your verses, they seem to stagger off topic. I wish you would've played with the vision part of this some more, get in touch about how you feel within rather then writing how you believe the world thinks about you. I think you could be more creative with your wordplay as well.

Mr. Style:

The greens gone, I need something to fiend on
Look in the mirror and theres a Royce disk playin for the theme song
I dream long, through the tough days, scuffed legs
My minds telling me I'm doin it right, but my hearts sayin Hes Wrong
I never meant to bleed, naw.. Hearing the gossip of my best friend
I should just stick to the gang tat the ink on my chest says
I should give it a rest, dead.. My families feelin threatened
I look in the mirror and see the bruises all over my head 'nd
It's crescent, like the moon of which I live under
Kids hunger, nothing to feel good about in this summer
But I'm the hottest thing going, and when I look at my reflection
Perception eats my inside.. My lifes no different from a recession

I loved the wordplay and the creative use of vocab and the expression your verses displayed. Like here:

"It's crescent, like the moon..."
"in this summer...But I'm the hottest thing going..."

and I enjoy this as well, great use of "scuffed legs" to portray the feeling in this verse. nice.

"...through the tough days, scuffed leg"

overall, descent drop.


The Archetype:

I question my reflection. What I see doesn't reveal all that I'm stressing
I know it's my equal but that person feels like someone from another dimension
A mask blankets my feelings. An inner voice speaks... asks if I'm worthless
Facial features placid. Beneath a creature's wrath scratches the surface
My laugh's tone is nervous. I'm the only one that can see through my facade
Forced to conform to the norm. I know my thoughts would be viewed as odd
So I'm perceived as even keeled... believing still one day I'll rout the stress
Cuz my life feels like I'm walking on eggshells... on a high wire... without a net
In the mirror I look joyful, vibrant... like I like shit
But I feel like the mirror does... cold, lifeless... like my life's shit
I still move on past those showing traits of fakes and all my old mistakes
Cuz I can shatter my reflection but I'm more difficult to break

Great imagery!! The approach actually makes more sense here, writing from within makes this drop more creative and appealing to the reader. Had more of a storyline as well.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...788/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...806/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...786/index.html[/QUOTE]

[#PrimeTime]

last uppn for some last minute feedback


uppn

[#PrimeTime]

last upp for feedback.. good breakdown daughter of gaia