Fast lane

[Prolifik28]

are we running out of time before we reach the finish line does it even matter when either way it ends wit everybody dyin' everybody's mama cryin' everybody's lawyer lyin' even when it makes no sense into it everybody's buyin cause theyre just so sicka tryin' and theyre just so sicka waitin' no point in sayin, its so obvious that nothin's ever changin' should we stay and just endure it or make an attempt to get away if the choices that we make tonight effect our dying day....its time ta kill em, thats a quote from charlie manson admiration due, this dude put so much thought into his plans and u can never understand him cause u cannot comprehend whats going on inside a mind that he himself could never find if u read between the lines what u see can make u blind as u cross into a cipher so unbelievably unkind is it the signals or the signs or them together intertwined thats injected into u so unsubliminally sublime.....

[Nohbody]

is this a serious attempt at a verse?


the flow - horrid
the content - confusing
the structure - mashed up and too complicated to figure out

its so bad that i cant even type enough for this to count as real feed. . start over and try again

*EDIT*

regardless of the ridiculous amount of feedback i post in OM whether or not i dropped a verse behind it, mods feel that my comments were not constructive enough. . therefore i must in depth tell you how much this piece sucked

The structure is so terrible that i cant tell where one line begins and the other ends? This makes it almost impossible to read and creates a non-existent flow. If there is anything positive i can point out, is that it is at least short enough that i did not have to kill a whole lot of time reading through it. The vocabulary looks mediocre at best , and content wise i couldn't even really connect what you was trying to say or find any real meaning to this

i thoroughly hope this feed is just as sufficient for you as it is the OM Cops. .