no thats a fuking expo thankyou NBA
no thats a fuking expo thankyou NBA
1-0 i'm up...
more votes plz...
The Birth Of Creation
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Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
uppin
uppin come on vote yall
this is sad...smh....i'm never posting a battle again if it gone be like this...league only
The Birth Of Creation
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Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
yup sleeping dawg i voted on the whole fuking thread today real talk
joe - I know your pretty new to topicals and it's evident in your verse. You still have a bit to work on tbh, although it wasn't that bad I thought you could have touched on a few aspects of your verse to really make it more appealing and better. Some of your lines were stretched too much and thus really took a toll on your flow and that put off some of your next few lines and the transition of them. Oh and capitalising your last words or last few words got pretty annoying lol, no offense if that's how you're use to writing then it's understandable though.
LV - A pretty decent verse with some pretty good content. The change in flow and syllable count as the piece progressed was kind of weird, it seemed like you aimed for that but I'm not sure if it was that effective to be honest. But for the most part your content was nice, rhyme scheme was good and flow wasn't that bad although the fact that you changed the structure was off-putting to the flow.
I gotta say that LV edged this with better content, I thought he utilised the topic better than joeboston did.
v/ LV
Thanks alot my dude Vinzr for the feed i appreciate it real talk yeah gotta try diffrent things outta my comfort zone i always been thats kind of raw writer but i wanna be able to do topics were people can relate. Yo langston again nice verse my dude may we up for more votes plz???? appreciate all feeds.
There must be a Problem because Im getting no Reception
Our do you motherfuckers flip the channel when people start asking questions?
Realize that its your money getting thrown into those Two Minute Advertisements
So do you know where ur children are? This is a Parental Advisement
Theres a four digit code to life but yall dont follow proper Requirements
Children are getting improperly introduced to the world and yall wanna introduce them to this type of Enviroment?
^ this was good joe, but the last line in this quote messed up your flow.
vs.
Not napalms, but shells, clanging on the surface
Ditches and barricades undoubtedly been proven worthless
As dirt get’s chipped up, ricochet and shit flips ups
Hop the barge in a charge and pray that nobody should slip up
Enemy lines approaching and we’re full of fear
Try not to show it we ignore but notice through the tears
We’ve fought for years and now it’s taking its toll
Clip full of ammo we refuse to die and find in our hearts
^ good sense of imagery here, good emotion too.
I think this was an okay battle, personally im not a big fan of topical battles but nonetheless i enjoyed both battlers pieces. Joe your piece was good but like i said, your line structure threw off your flow. LV's piece too me seemed a little more deep and emotional. Both chose good topics but i think LV's piece was more consistent in his concept. No hate.
v - LV
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Originally Posted by Celph Taut
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Joe: flow is hit and miss, you had some nice multis, merely ending the lines, would be nice to see multis throughout and internals as well. Your concept was interesting enough.
Langston: the flow was on point here and you used a strong rhyme scheme, fluent in multis and internals and a good take on a played concept.
I give it to Langston
infektedpenz
thanks man uppin
uppin for this last vote or next few votes
The Birth Of Creation
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Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
uppin yo langston if this gets slept on u can take this looks like u got it anyways good battle homie
aiite bro...i'll see if someone can close it...
The Birth Of Creation
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Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal
Joeboston - Nice peace man, your flow was definitely on point in this one so props for that man. I liked the peace as a whole, the only flaw i see with it is sometimes the structure was stretched at certain points (i have the same problem) but the message was definitely felt by me as i was reading it. It was very easy to follow and read.
LV- I liked your peace too man, but i wasnt feeling the way it was structured. It also seemed like towards the end you had trouble keeping the story going.
V- Joeboston, Very close battle tho, and a good read
#BaseBoyzSwag
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