User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Divided Hill

  1. #1
    steel cut oatmeal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    3,789
    Battle Record
    40-7
    Awards OM HOF Golden Glove Champion LLL HOF 25+ Wins

    Divided Hill




    life is full of contradictions, truths meant to be hidden
    complimentary divisions, each endlessly different.
    I've come to find that open eyelids throw a wrench in your vision
    so compartmentalize your mind and ride this sensory fission

    embrace the static
    fade to blackness...

    an archipelago of clouds dot the air with a few islands
    Lucy's in the sky and she's wearing her blue diamonds
    a stream stumbles to a puddle so be careful to move by it
    cuz when you hear it whisper you won't dare to abuse silence.
    the cares of your youth lie in the water's rippled chest
    reflecting the meadow in a ballet of silhouettes
    as they sway and wiggle, stretching out their in-depth message,
    an audience of grass bows in windswept crescents.
    then you think next, what if you held the hopes that you used to?
    like the mountains you'd conquer and the oceans you'd cruise through
    but why stop there? you could even float to the moon, too
    lost in your thoughts, cool breezes flee the slopes to cocoon you.
    it's soothing, locked in this imagination chrysalis
    masked in sacred wilderness - the magic of its innocence
    passion at its simplest, stoned in a natural high
    instead of questioning, you'd be posing answers to "why?"
    but there's more than inspiration that these mountains can hide
    the vagrancies of reality once you wander past the divide...

    adjust to the haze
    muzzle your gaze...

    stained gray behemoths slouch in slumbering stacks
    concrete skeletons erected as a puzzle for rats.
    the heavens are hidden hellishly in eruptions of ash
    but you don't notice it - you're settled in a hustle for cash
    to stay ahead you keep on pedaling combustible traps
    like your unquenchable elephant bent on guzzling gas
    LED is the future, son! the sun is the past
    so keep your shutters collapsed - just in case some light might've snuck in the cracks
    living the plight of a proton; you're stuck in a mass
    and the further you float, the more the others'll laugh.
    you hunt for your next meal long as it's smothered in fat
    and even though your veins are choking you keep stuttering back
    amidst these sputtering facts, I didn't mention the streets
    feel the piss-warm air as it carries the stench of disease
    this is how life's supposed to be in 2011
    business as usual in cubicles till you've pounded your head in
    counting the hours and seconds until the final whistle blow
    so you can sit in front of a screen till you forget why you're miserable...

    I won't deny the silver lining that I laced in the sky
    cuz to be honest, every "you" could be replaced with an "I"
    yet I won't say it's a lie, my little hatred of technology
    since many words of wisdom are mistaken for hypocrisy
    I don't totally look down upon the progress of today
    I just don't know how we'll afford it--or what currency we'll pay
    but if you can move into the truth imbued in this vignette
    you'll find a quiet so beautiful you'll be muted to thin breaths
    so close your eyes and see the light of everything you didn't know
    cuz half of every scene is seeing what isn't shown



    links coming

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2

    Re: Divided Hill

    Solid piece man, your rhymes are perfect
    Rhyme schemes are epic,
    Best part
    an archipelago of clouds dot the air with a few islands
    Lucy's in the sky and she's wearing her blue diamonds
    a stream stumbles to a puddle so be careful to move by it
    cuz when you hear it whisper you won't dare to abuse silence.
    the cares of your youth lie in the water's rippled chest
    reflecting the meadow in a ballet of silhouettes
    as they sway and wiggle, stretching out their in-depth message,
    an audience of grass bows in windswept crescents.
    Could you place check my first freestyle? thanks,

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...723/index.html

  3. #3
    - Retired - #PrimeTime's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    6,852
    Battle Record
    58-60
    Awards 50+ Wins

    Re: Divided Hill

    Wow Oatmeal, im almost at a loss of words here. This was impressive. Solid piece.

    stained gray behemoths slouch in slumbering stacks
    concrete skeletons erected as a puzzle for rats.
    the heavens are hidden hellishly in eruptions of ash
    but you don't notice it - you're settled in a hustle for cash
    to stay ahead you keep on pedaling combustible traps
    like your unquenchable elephant bent on guzzling gas
    ^ This was dope right here. I felt a connection to this part right here. Good imagery you presented here.

    I won't deny the silver lining that I laced in the sky
    cuz to be honest, every "you" could be replaced with an "I"
    yet I won't say it's a lie, my little hatred of technology
    since many words of wisdom are mistaken for hypocrisy
    I don't totally look down upon the progress of today
    I just don't know how we'll afford it--or what currency we'll pay
    but if you can move into the truth imbued in this vignette
    you'll find a quiet so beautiful you'll be muted to thin breaths
    so close your eyes and see the light of everything you didn't know
    cuz half of every scene is seeing what isn't shown
    ^ Very solid closing paragraph, to be honest i felt as if you had some hard feelings and/or tension built up into this part. This is the way closing lines/paragraphs should look like.

    Bottom Line
    You have a talent for imagery and emotion and I could tell throughout this piece. Your flow was solid, and for the most part your line structure was pretty even so you flow wasn't choppy. I enjoy reading your pieces man, they are always deep in thought. Good topic, haven't seen or heard a topic like this before and I thought this was a solid piece. Keep at it my man.

    RTF:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...624/index.html

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Originally Posted by Celph Taut
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    sick, bro. Holy shit. Absolutely captivating lyrics. never seen something so explosive, dynamic, and quintessentially mesmerizing! Keep it up!

  4. #4
    huh? Vinzr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    3,200
    Battle Record
    61-50
    Awards 50+ Wins

    Re: Divided Hill

    I'll drop some feed on this some time tonight..

  5. #5
    huh? Vinzr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Sydney, Australia
    Posts
    3,200
    Battle Record
    61-50
    Awards 50+ Wins

    Re: Divided Hill

    Some great stuff here man. I think you've come to a point where every piece you manage to drop is HOF quality...real talk man. I'm not sure what the highlight of your verse was as I was impressed by most aspects of it. Firstly, your vocab was strong as usual. Your flow was tight and your rhyme scheme was on point.

    Now onto the content itself... wow dope stuff throughout.

    living the plight of a proton; you're stuck in a mass
    and the further you float, the more the others'll laugh.
    you hunt for your next meal long as it's smothered in fat
    and even though your veins are choking you keep stuttering back

    i could relate to this one, dope lines.

    Your closing lines ...

    so close your eyes and see the light of everything you didn't know
    cuz half of every scene is seeing what isn't shown


    now that hit hard...real hard. It's got truth behind it and a message as well.

    And word at what you were talking about and the issue you were highlighting throughout. It didnt come across as played and i dont see this shit talked about often tbh although i wouldnt be surprised if it was, but the way you executed was like no other and what would distinguish your piece from everyone else's on the same concept and issue.

    Good stuff and btw...nom'd.

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Guam
    Age
    35
    Posts
    22,986
    Battle Record
    62-46
    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins

    Re: Divided Hill

    This was the best I've seen you drop especially since it was against Kentish you droppenitnon manndopenessni can't honestly say much that hasn't been saint but the one thing or couple things unlined about it besides it's emotion was theninyellectual word placing really made a huge impact on the verse man and it stifled greatly in my head and two is the imagery very well displayed and touched up on man props on this nom worthy so w00t!

    Rtf
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...941/index.html
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  7. #7
    know skill funkshun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Fresno, CA
    Posts
    268
    Battle Record
    1-7

    Re: Divided Hill

    wow this is fuckin great.... amazing wording and vocabulary and it read perfectly
    one of the best OM's i've read {i'm new so that aint saying much} but yeah really deep depiction of nature and the unimpeded progression of man... i can relate to this shit on so many levels, and i really can't find any flaws it's really dope....keep writin'... PROPS

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Dublin
    Posts
    88
    Battle Record
    0-1

    Re: Divided Hill

    Good drop

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! hello there's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,273
    Battle Record
    1-9

    Re: Divided Hill

    This was all pretty dope. The intro was a highlight.

    Then I got to this part...

    then you think next, what if you held the hopes that you used to?
    like the mountains you'd conquer and the oceans you'd cruise through
    but why stop there? you could even float to the moon, too
    lost in your thoughts, cool breezes flee the slopes to cocoon you.

    ... and I was like "Yeah!" out loud. Somebody's been workin hard, lol.

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    124

    Re: Divided Hill

    this rhyme really reflects the picture you used you got skillz man and a very relaxing rhyme skeeme thats good too see sometimes its refreshing peace

  11. #11
    Trajik Viewz Str8 JackIt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Asia
    Posts
    1,309
    Battle Record
    10-9

    Re: Divided Hill

    life is full of contradictions, truths meant to be hidden
    complimentary divisions, each endlessly different.
    I've come to find that open eyelids throw a wrench in your vision
    so compartmentalize your mind and ride this sensory fission
    good vocab and wordplay for an intro

    an archipelago of clouds dot the air with a few islands
    Lucy's in the sky and she's wearing her blue diamonds
    a stream stumbles to a puddle so be careful to move by it
    cuz when you hear it whisper you won't dare to abuse silence.
    the cares of your youth lie in the water's rippled chest
    reflecting the meadow in a ballet of silhouettes
    as they sway and wiggle, stretching out their in-depth message,
    an audience of grass bows in windswept crescents.
    then you think next, what if you held the hopes that you used to?
    like the mountains you'd conquer and the oceans you'd cruise through
    but why stop there? you could even float to the moon, too
    lost in your thoughts, cool breezes flee the slopes to cocoon you.
    wow....great wordplay, flow, vocab...

    it'd be a waste to quote a awhole OM but this shit has HOF on it..

    The Birth Of Creation

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Storyteller | Cr@$h | JMS | Meth | Celph Taut | Messiah | Bstill | Fatal

  12. #12

    Re: Divided Hill

    good flow. good rhymes. good shit.
    solid vocab and solid devices.

Similar Threads

  1. Family Guy Hank & Hank Hill From King Of Hill
    By Leonidas in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: March 2nd, 2011, 10:22 PM
  2. Is hiphop racially divided?
    By Viscos1ty in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: July 27th, 2006, 10:10 PM
  3. The divided
    By lilbeat in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: December 5th, 2005, 04:05 AM
  4. The Divided States
    By Aspekt in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: September 25th, 2004, 12:02 PM
  5. Divided
    By Play-Boy187G in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: August 12th, 2004, 11:21 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •