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Thread: Lions to Lambs

  1. #1
    Touch My Beard Extinctor Draconis's Avatar
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    Lions to Lambs

    My mouth reeks
    of rotting roses,
    decaying like acrylic oils
    painted in memory of failed aspirations;
    fading through canvas,
    but retaining a sardonic touch of brilliance.

    they told me
    to stay strong, be proud.
    be the lion who walks
    through fire, simply
    because he can.
    make your bed full of thorns
    so you can wear the scars
    of how fiercely you loved,
    that passion you bled.

    I taught myself
    not to cry
    not to let a single emotion
    pass by that empty void
    that they call my eyes.
    But now I feel them,
    those tears.
    Tears that let me know
    the iron shell I’ve created
    holds a glimmer frailty.

    We all want to be the lion
    who stands tall
    Who wears courage
    on his chest like a scarlet badge.
    Others keep rotting till
    there's nothing left
    but a blank canvas.

    Lions to Lambs.
    De Kapitein

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  2. #2
    Touch My Beard Extinctor Draconis's Avatar
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    Last edited by Extinctor Draconis; June 26th, 2011 at 06:27 AM
    De Kapitein

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  3. #3
     
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    That rule's been temporarily scrapped after a lengthy discussion over whether or not it's been a detriment to the activity and quality of feedback within the forum...amongst other things. On a trial basis it's been decided that for the next month or so writers aren't required to post links or reply to any poems when posting one themselves.

    So no worries, but I appreciate the effort regardless

    Also this turned out nice.
    Last edited by Mantra; June 26th, 2011 at 04:17 AM
    ...

  4. #4
    Touch My Beard Extinctor Draconis's Avatar
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    i'll still get the link or I'll feel like hypocrite for enforcing a 3 link rule in OM lol. But I hope this experiment works, that way I won't have to close as much crap
    De Kapitein

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  5. #5
    Halleluja Soul Slayer's Avatar
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    Fuck the captain who wont take charge and responsibility right. He becomes a lamb, a sacrifice so the team can get back on his feet. Lol, just looking at it from a weird angle. There was a lot of truth and harsh reality here mate. The diction was easy to follow and credit to you for taking a simple idea and using it to convey a solid message. Who said poetry was about big words that have no depth anyway? I liked this a lot and remember it from PS.

    RFT my piece when you get the chance just posted, Shadow On My Smile.

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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


    [soundclick]7321513[/soundclick]

  6. #6
    Touch My Beard Extinctor Draconis's Avatar
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    thanks mate, gervinho on friday


    upping
    De Kapitein

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  7. #7
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    I'm gonna feed this when I get off of work from job #2. Promise.

    & after that, I'm convincing you to do something & collab with me..
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  8. #8
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    Dude seriously I thought I fed this already?? Damn this was niceness clan content and direct punctuation of a sacrifice-ish need to secure self dominance? This was great the first stanza dude honestly made me wanna just nominate this already the flexibility of the inners and meaning within it dude captivates one to read more man and the second and third didn't fail either it kept a steady pace and stayed on point with the story already games ball... The one I really like about this was the ciltivation of your content how it sculpted it's image into my thoughts man

    Props spanja
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  9. #9
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    Yea a collab would be AWESOME
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  10. #10
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Re: Lions to Lambs

    You deserve an 'up' so I'm just gonna post my vote here instead of editing it in where I previously stated I would.

    I love your poetry. I have not even once attempted to re-correct or fix anything you have written because it has already been done so beautifully. You portray your emotions so validly, it's almost unreal. The connection from word choice, vocabulary, & understanding are meerly attached to one another. Your emphasis on staying strong provided major detail, and you stayed on track with that concept throughout the entirety of the read. Each stanza was written to provoke the reader further into the depths of the metaphore. Incredible how you closed each stanza in perfect timing. No single thought in this poem was drug out or over-extended. You kept each concept close as the thought before, & executed flawlessly up until the end. There is one word that threw me off in this one though, and it's the lamb. Not in a bad way, but it left me wondering... Have you given up hopes on continuing with pride and fearlessness of a lion, and morphed into some sort of prey to the other 'lions'? Or is it the other way around? Or was it left to leave the readers an opening in imagination?

    Either way, loved this one man. Great work, keep writing, stay active, all that mumbo-jumbo.. Most important of all, lets get on a collab soon when the timing is right.. Namsain?
    Artificial.Intelligence

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