Infidelity :s

[celestial occurrence]

as he arrives from work, soul sadistic,

he can see a man had a visit,

passing his room bed all array,

motionless and almost angelic she stays,

not a breathe of guilt or denial,

She promised to walk a thousand miles,

with souls so entwined, as he asked will you be mine,

but now that years have past, and faded,

As he strides to his study, and leans back,Debating

opening the bottle of jack, something snaps,

as he tries to deny the facts, the home is a mess,

plates for two, and jeans on my bed,

sinfully thoughts swirling through my head,

tossing my glass against the wall,

"is everything alright" echos down the hall,

Him-> " Fuck you bitch, you know what you've done,

a man in my house, judgment day has come."

he rises to his feet, hearing nothing but his heart beat,

she stands in the door frame, her->" are you fucking insane,

yelling at me when I'm at home slaving away

locked in this home called a cage, Emotional restrained."

Him->" I work all day, and come home to an unloving wife,

who dares to have a man over in the middle of the night,

and act like your not wrong, just shut up don't say a fucking word,

your actions were absurd. my heart is famished, love have vanished,

my mind is damaged, no matter what you say my decision remains the same,

now go away, the cab has been called, and i arranged a flight,

you will be at your mother by tomorrow night."

Her->" yeah right half of everything is mine."

He pours her a glass of jack and asks her to take a seat,

he sips and smiles something hiding up his sleeve,

"I think you will leave, or did you forget, everything is MINE,

when we got married the papers we signed as you said,

our assets were combined, as i thought in the back of my mind,

that this exact thing would occur, so i leaned to you

and said you love me for me right, and you would never leave,

And i asked for a prenup ,and you didn't decline,

Now go before the cops spotlights shine"

As she struggles out the door, and leaves,

He calls out "hunny, Its not you its me"



HAHAHA

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...496/index.htmlhttp://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...698/index.htmlhttp://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...872/index.html

[Nohbody]

dope shit man. . . with an bit more in depth vocab, i feel you could have made this piece a bit deeper, but other then that. . i love scripts that deal with real world, and true life problems. feelin the content. . flow was fine for me. .

whats up with the collab homie?

[#PrimeTime]

This piece was pretty good man, no doubt. I think though the way you set your line structure up it seemed to me as a poem piece. Try to extend your lines a little longer. I would say work on that vocab a little more as well, work on adding some multi's to add some more flow to this drop. otherwise it looks real good, keep @ it.