Trust

[#PrimeTime]

This piece is a lil something I wrote about between me and my ex-girlfriend.
Enjoy.


Some time ago, I used to be with this one special chick,
I sit back, think, reminiss on the times I said I'd never forget,
When times were rough it was her I would turn to,
Like an angry letter, i wouldn't throw you in the fire and burn you,
Then I realized people were telling me things I didn't think were true,
got me a little uneasy, and I got confused,
She said "I'd never hurt me", i thought that was good news,
But i still had my doubts, i couldnt believe you,
time passed but everyday i had that feelin in the back of my mind
It was obvious to see, I saw it everytime,
I was your stevie wonder...
But I'll never play the piano for you because i was so blind,
You hit up other guys, even worse with my best friend,
This clearly is the way i wanted it to end,
Not only my best friend but plenty of other guys,
Looked at you days later, and it was you i couldn't reckognize,
Got over it as time went by, but to no surprise,
You said it didn't happen but your friends say it was all lies,
Could've taken the easy way and just cried about it like a weakling you see,
I texted her sayin you are a whore, you simply mean nothing to me,
I guess the sayin is right, trust is a hard concept, you gotta earn it,
She called me back, sayin she wants me back, hell no i dont deserve it,
I remember talking to her back on the phone i remembered what i said,
"Remember the time you walked in...
And you saw that other girl and you said thats my side of the bed"
Well payback is simply like you - its a bitch hunny,
Found your boy-toys wallet, took his cash and spent all his money,
Then i said back "I got one thing to say before I lose it,
You're like a truck stop,
Open 24-hours a day, and you got the oil stains to prove it"



Links:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=451278
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=451172
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=451280

[#PrimeTime]

feedback plz, upppp

[#PrimeTime]

upp

[#PrimeTime]

yo, can i get some feed? upp

[#PrimeTime]

wow no feedback? uppp!!!!!!!

[I-M-E]

this was decent, the mid part was my fav with the stevie wonder stuff....some was a bit basic (the start) and some sounded a bit corny (the end) but overall it wasnt too bad

[#PrimeTime]

ight, thanks fam, uppin

[#PrimeTime]

mods close this. i dont care, no feedback

[DJ Breeze]

I've been there. I can feel the emotion you put on it. I like the rhyme scheme and how it isn't over-complicated. And you had a very clear story. But there was 1 or 2 lines where the flow seemed a bit off because of the syllable count.

[PyroMania]

ya deep emotion it like you filled a viod in you by writting this.. keep dropping writtens fam.. this was a story telling picture. for me.. stay up

[RPK]

I liked the first half of this piece. It was sort of a sentimental aspect. Bet near the end, you turned it into a diss piece, which ruined the end. Try to stick with the sadness/betrayal concept if you start with it. Other than that it was an enjoyable read.

[#PrimeTime]

I liked the first half of this piece. It was sort of a sentimental aspect. Bet near the end, you turned it into a diss piece, which ruined the end. Try to stick with the sadness/betrayal concept if you start with it. Other than that it was an enjoyable read.

thats what i kind of wanted. I wanted the first part to be all happy and enjoyable, and the 2nd part to be more emotional, betrayal, anger. but thanks for the feed.

[st.poet89]

sounds ok

[Tr!gga]

I liked it.. Mostly bcuz I hate cheating bitches, but the flow was pretty dope.. the similes and metaphores were so-so.. Could've done more.. Stevie Wonder is MAD played out btw.. But keep at it.. I liked it.. And honestly you've got heart putting your personal shit on here. I would nvr dare.. Keep at it.