Never Say Goodbye

[Voyce Box]

think of me, the lonely child pushed to his doom.
only two friends i have are the sun and the moon.
i haven't ate in many days and my stomach is hurting.
so I'm picking crumbs off the ground, almost certain,
it won't be long til i leave this earths surface.
and there's nothing i can do but wonder, such a burden.
i feel like I'm worthless, my clothes are torn to pieces.
haven't bathed in months, wishing i was never born for many reasons.
surrounded by so many diseases, you can't even envision it.
and it's worse than anything you been through, beyond imprisonment.
i can bring you to your knees with the conditions I'm living in.
this is the world nobody cares for, nobody gives a shit.
the cold winters are bad, paper thin sheets when covering up.
the bricks barely protect us, you have no idea how much it sucks.
waking up to the next day and always wearing the same clothes.
you feel like your being contained, shackled in chains, decomposed.
my mother tells me to look forward, cause better days are to come.
i can see the tears she holds back, telling me, "I love you, son."
she tries her best, and deep inside i know she's feeling regret.
and it's sad, when those tears run down her cheek and neck.
hold her tight, kiss her lips and let her know we can do it...
and hearing that, makes her heart dance to the sounds of the winds music..
it doesn't matter what we got or not, we'll always stick together.
all we can do is hope for brighter days, we can't predict the weather.
but it's a struggle everyday seeing so many people die.
but in our hearts, we KNOW we will never say goodbye.




http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...855/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...507/index.html
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...945/index.html

[Joe Boston]

This is a very Deep piece and i really appreciate relative topics like this. This is a big problem in difrrent countries and i love how u expressed your emotion toward this. You dont really see catz on a topic like this. Your words flowed beautifully man and again just the emotion floored me on this.



There was madd fucking emotion here loved everything about this

think of me, the lonely child pushed to his doom.
only two friends i have are the sun and the moon.
i haven't ate in many days and my stomach is hurting.
so I'm picking crumbs off the ground, almost certain,
it won't be long til i leave this earths surface.
and there's nothing i can do but wonder, such a burden.
i feel like I'm worthless, my clothes are torn to pieces.
haven't bathed in months, wishing i was never born for many reasons.
surrounded by so many diseases, you can't even envision it.
and it's worse than anything you been through, beyond imprisonment.
i can bring you to your knees with the conditions I'm living in.
this is the world nobody cares for, nobody gives a shit.
the cold winters are bad, paper thin sheets when covering up.
the bricks barely protect us, you have no idea how much it sucks.
waking up to the next day and always wearing the same clothes.
you feel like your being contained, shackled in chains, decomposed.



Feed Appreciated Thank You
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...015/index.html

[Voyce Box]

thanks for the feedback, Joe.


anyone else? c'mon...

[WhatsHisFace]

Nice topic you choose. I have seen poverty before, lived in it for a short period of time, and if people want to understand more of the effects. Your piece speaks loud on the issue. Imagery is spot on and good touch using a first person view. Those tools really helped add meaning.

One thing that was negative thought was this part:
"i can bring you to your knees with the conditions I'm living in.
this is the world nobody cares for, nobody gives a shit.
the cold winters are bad, paper thin sheets when covering up.
the bricks barely protect us, you have no idea how much it sucks."
The rhymes aren't strong and it did some damage to the flow.

Overall, great piece and nice topic. Good Job dude.

[Voyce Box]

thanks for the feedback.

[Voyce Box]

wake up, sleepy heads!