LLL Magazine: Textual Noire

[Tim]

Lethal Lyricist League Magazine
Textual Noire



Introduction

This was an actually very successful week of the LLL with everyone dropping good material; every match had its ups and unfortunately its downs as well. We only had 3 no-shows and everyone participated in voting.Im also glad to see beyond back in the league, because he always comes with fresh concepts. There was no champ match this week, but instead two cool matches between Arch Vs. Blue Bayou and Token Vs. God0fwar, the winner of those two verses would then be compared together, to crown a new number 1 contender. Congrats to Blue Bayou for holding it down, and will face Spitacular this week for the championship match.

This week we have the return of a few heads previously in the season J. Hens, Stylized, Cred and Untold. In addition we have Gramur from rm joining us as well as A.Karp . Should be another exciting week with some dope battles im looking forward to see like Token Vs. J. Hens, Arch Vs. Personal, Chrit Vs. God0fwar, and Spitacular Vs Blue Bayou. Hell all the matches will be dope this week as everyone makes a push for the playoffs. I will be taking the top 16 and will take into account whatever in need to take into account to make sure everything is far.

1.Introduction
2.Battle Reviews
3.Punchline Pandemonium
4.Top 10 Punches
5.Battle of the Week
6.No Show Shine
7.Verse of the Week
8.Top 5 Power Rankings
9.Tim's Predictions
10.Rankings
11.Outro

[Tim]

Battle Reviews

A.T Vs. Shunned1
Cool matches between two guys that are looking to make it into the playoffs, AT came with a barrage of witty concepts that just didn’t pack super bunch, but still got the job done. Shunned1 is improving, but the way he delivered his punches was definitely something he needs to work on in the future still good battle.
Winner: AT

Token Vs. God0fwar
Sways Sways Sways lol. The chat was littered with it, but still I find it humors its like a battle within a battle rofl. Anyways I thought this was a good battle, both gow and Token came swinging in this bout landing some pretty solid hits. In the end though I believe in came down to quotables and the voters felt that gow edged it in the category, props to both.
Winner: Gow0fwar

Philly Vs. Mariah
Philly came with the humorous punches, and Mariah came with the more brutal punches and the voters were torn between which ones they preferenced more. I though these two were also matched evenly and Philly held his own surprisingly well for not doing this for some time. Mariah was winning and had the battle on lock, but unfortunately Mariah got accused of biting for the second week in a row (Investigation still pending) so on that note.
Winner: Philly

Bongkers Vs. Smokajoka
Bongkers really surprised me in this battle coming with a decently written verse. I though somoka was going to wipe the floor with this dude, but bongs wasn’t having any of it with a good execution of concepts. Smoka is also still getting into the swing of things, but I think his experience in the league was the advantage to him here with a set of well delivered punches
Winner: SmokaJoka

Chrit Vs. Wanderer.
Wanderer was whoa in this battle, admitting that he wrote it drunk. Lol that was probably not the best of judgment ,but oh well I still got a laugh outta some of the stuff, because well it didn’t make sense. Chrit took this one quite easy imo with a more polished verse with harder more comprehensible punches. Still good for a drunk verse Ancel.
Winner: Chrit.


Tim Vs. Mvario
This was a decent battle, Mvario came with the funny dodo ass whipping line and the rest of his verse was a little stale and worded a bit poorly. Tim came more consistent and that was what kept him ahead in this battle.
Winner: Tim

Hollow Cost Vs. Bey
The return of beyond and what a showing by him, glad to see he can bring the funny lines. Hollow is still in up and comer and don’t let the record fool you. With a little more elevation this guy can really maybe do something in the future. Bey took this with funnier well worded lines that the voters liked.
Winner: Bey

Personal Vs. Raydeoh
Raydeoh is really stepping his game up in the LLL and its proving each week this week it showed the most with his close battle with Personal. Aside from the bitching I thought this was a good battle between these two, and it ended up coming down to who the more consistent battler was and, the tide swung in personals favor
Winner: Personal

Arch Vs. Blue Bayou
Cool battle that I was looking forward to seeing all week, and Im glad these two both came out ready to battle. Blue had that arch church line that I really dug and Arch also had a couple well crafted punches. But in the end Blues concepts and polished wording seemed to be the edge in this battle. Although I really did think both did a good job and Kudos to both.
Winner: BlueBayou

Dehesa Vs. DLB
Dehesa wins via no-show

Axe Vs. Miracle
Miracle wins via no-show

Aeral Vs. Cry
Cry wins via no-show

[Tim]

Punchline Pandemonium
-Chrit

n ur business is the lamest to, theres no way to change it dude
i mean we all know u only got ur own company, cuz no one else'll hang with you
GoW

a tru virgin from u.s to england, boyfriends wouldnt try to suck
cuz she never had chapstick.. explainin why her lips dry as fuck
Philly

Im quick to murder your faction, in this battle there's sure to be action
But Ill keep ur loss last week hush-hush, which was exactly the voters reaction
We all know Tim carried a Per$, and this week ur running the same game
cause Wan da type... to throw on some blush n use that shit as his stage name
Chrit

Fuck it your lame, wanna buck authority well here’s a fact
I cant put you in your place, cause smoka refuses to bring jr back
Tim

I’m a former RBL & NBL champ while ur mere essence is cursed.
This battle will never go Holloway, that’s just where he buys his dresses & skirts.
You never make fun of no one cuz you’re life is tragic & nothin.
The only time we’ll see Hollow-point & laugh is when I shoot this faggot in public.
Bey

Ugly cat too.. for God's sake I HOPE you have paper..
If a girl ever screams "Pers a cute dude".. ya geek ass just attempted to rape her
Raydeoh

won't ever drop dope..ya lyin if you said you've had beastly creations
cuz raydeoh's so full of shit he wouldn't pass FCC regulations
Per$onal

I never subliminally diss. I'll say to his face this kid's a bitch
You won't catch Arch beating around the bush... I'll punch this pussy square in the lips
Arch

kid's his rappin is shitty, he’s too bitch s’why i’m clappin this biddy
we’re all gunna see Arch die a sis without a live feed from the Vatican City
& i’d say props on the live battle, but u can’t brag u rhymed lines..
the only Glimpse of talent we saw was u getting raped by that fag in Grind Time
you fucking faggot.. Sub-Zero? that’s just maskin ur type..
you’ve wanted a Blue Ball in ur hand ever since I came back to the site
Blue Bayou



Punch of the Week
kid's his rappin is shitty, he’s too bitch s’why i’m clappin this biddy
we’re all gunna see Arch die a sis without a live feed from the Vatican City

[Tim]

Top 10 Punches
-A.T


bitch ur shady as fuck, ridin' dicks like there's no tomorrow
that bite is ironic.. considering most people don't chew oatmeal before they swallow
(Token)

a tru virgin from u.s to england, boyfriends wouldnt try to suck
cuz she never had chapstick.. explainin why her lips dry as fuck
(Philly)

Hush gives me a hard time about the LLL, and I take it in stride
yes Hush knows I can take the jokes, I did let you in the league right
(Tim)

Ugly cat too.. for God's sake I HOPE you have paper..
If a girl ever screams "Pers a cute dude".. ya geek ass just attempted to rape her
(Raydeo)

& i’d say props on the live battle, but u can’t brag u rhymed lines..
the only Glimpse of talent we saw was u getting raped by that fag in Grind Time
(Blue Bayou)

kid's his rappin is shitty, he’s too bitch s’why i’m clappin this biddy
we’re all gunna see Arch die a sis without a live feed from the Vatican City
(Blue Bayou)

Im quick to murder your faction, in this battle there's sure to be action
But Ill keep ur loss last week hush-hush, which was exactly the voters reaction
(Chrit)

You never make fun of no one cuz you’re life is tragic & nothin.
The only time we’ll see Hollow-point & laugh is when I shoot this faggot in public.
(Bey)

Get off my jock bitch, step outside, breathe some air and get a life queer
You been here for ONE month, and already averaging 8,000 posts a year
(Smoka)

We all know Tim carried a Per$, and this week ur running the same game
cause Wan da type... to throw on some blush n use that shit as his stage name
(Chrit)

[Tim]

Battle Of The Week
God0fwar Vs. Token.

God0fwar:
14

mariah and that nr whatever faggot cant vote

even tho you'll always be lame, im sure ull still see fame
cuz its easy for you to be a star, all you gotta do is switch screen names
im doper then ur trash lines, plus ur bars are mad hyped
n bein sonned by raydeoh,is the only reason u have better reception on rap sites
ur concepts aint crazy cat, ur lines is lazy,whack
cuz theres been a noob in ur posts, way before u got that sig n avy fag
your wifes had a thousand lovers, everyones allowed to fuck her
so when we see ur daughter toke, it'll be a pipe passed down from her mother
n ur business is the lamest to, theres no way to change it dude
i mean we all know u only got ur own company, cuz no one else'll hang with you
i see u copy others writing text, so u shouldnt be ryhmin yet
cuz i see so many vets in ur style, one verse could save a hundred dying pets
n you aint never hit chronic, i swear that shits honest
so if i pulled this faggots card, itd be from a deck with naked men on it

Vs.

Token:
god of war aka country aka district 9

lol

I'm not trying to be mean, I know this is for fun and all
but you got no chance in FL AT...cuz that's how all your punches fall

you wont ever touch this belt, you''ve dropped nothin well
I mean youre only known in f.l a.t., since thats wher all your punches fell

bitch ur shady as fuck, ridin' dicks like there's no tomorrow
that bite is ironic.. considering most people don't chew oatmeal before they swallow

cats like chrit n them bite other peoples lyircs, he paid a dude to lose a match so he could be champ, no one takes this as serious as they do

Yep... that was the only thing. And it was a bank breaking $5 lol

you ain't ever gettin respect, those weak punches ain't workin
bitch you couldn't throw a Haymaker if Chrit paid you to lose the fuckin tourney
ur a disgrace to america, now ur bein torched bitch
shit, you ain't gotta watch the news to see this country's in need of reinforcements
i've read my share of the bible, the flood was intense, wow....
I mean shit, here I am face to face w/ god & the rainbow makes sense now
all you do is suck dick, I don't mean to mention ya fellas
but I'll blow by you so hard it'll spin you into a whole new dimension of jealous
keeps talkin shit in the chat, bitch just can't keep his trap shut
so if you ever see this snitch on some hush tip.. he just aimed his boyfriend for back up
really tho, what is it he's good for? absolutely nothing or less
so if you ever see a good War quote, Edwin Starr sums it up best




God0fwar Wins

[Tim]

No Show Shine
Dehesa

unless u consider Boozer, the guy who cant shoot or rebound to save his hair(hence his baldness).

http://www.nba.com/playerfile/carlos...eer_stats.html

Last game 23pts 11rbs


Stats don't lie, so with statements like those this losers *dead*
Cuz by his logic he couldn't win this match by a hair...off Carlos Boozers head
Dude's a trollfessional we all know that's pure truth
And you'll never leave a mark in rap, unless it's with your own tooth
You got a niche @ nc's son, friends always protected ya
This RB so imma beast cuh. I'm not bein cocky it's just what Tim projected bruh.
Nigga get rid of ya user..GSP's a legendary future Hall of Famer
Ur a giant ball of homo anger, u should proly change ya username to ALLoutFl@mer.
Now back to Basketball. Rings, lets talk about who'll win sum
Ur on Lebrons dick so bad, instead of stomaching his sperm u'd rather chin some

[Tim]

Verse of the week
Blue Bayou

Arch vs. Token
A lot of rumors and bullshit have come up about you. All this talking has been recent
But I knew you weren't phlymo the whole time... people actually thought phly was pretty decent

I'm supposed to fear that stretched crap?!

WTF at that wack shit, ur gettin slayed & swiftly beat
cuz if that long ass line is Golden Arch.. it’s just a busy day at Micky D’s
u’ll get wrapped in a sheet once my bullets leave you flat on the street
fuck a Pistol Whip. i’ll smoke you w/ the Gattlin Gun attached to the back of my Jeep
i’m blazed as fuck right now, just got back from coppin some trees
but you gotta be Hierarch.. thinkin ur anywhere near me at the top of the league
honestly it’s laughable how easy the veterans just drop you queen..
you tried Pushin Token & got Lit Up instantly.. but didn’t win on a Slot Machine
kid's his rappin is shitty, he’s too bitch s’why i’m clappin this biddy
we’re all gunna see Arch die a sis without a live feed from the Vatican City
& i’d say props on the live battle, but u can’t brag u rhymed lines..
the only Glimpse of talent we saw was u getting raped by that fag in Grind Time
you fucking faggot.. Sub-Zero? that’s just maskin ur type..
you’ve wanted a Blue Ball in ur hand ever since I came back to the site
..have u doin floor exercises once my fists leave u cracked hard
cuz u got a sex life like Gymnastic titles.. we know you take it, from the Back-Arch

16.

[Tim]

Power Rankings (5)

1. Spitacular: After a week off this dude is still on top the list, why because he is undefeated and can be. No one has been able to match him yet, but this week he has a tough road ahead of him.

2. BlueBayou: Stays in the same spot this week, because he beat arch and now has a chance to take on spit this week for the top spot. Really should be an awesome battle.

3. God0fwar: Beat token last week and earned a right to stay at the number 3 spot this week he is in the contenders match and with a win can make a break for a title match.

4. J. Hens.: Dude is sick with it. Only two loses he has is because of no-shows, but if he wins he will be in the thick of things in the title hunt.

5. Chrit: Has secretly been winning battles and staying under the radar. He has been coming consistent every week and has a contenders match this week.

[Tim]

Tim's Predictions


Champ: Spitacular Vs Blue Bayou
This match is going to be interesting, both these guys have crisp wording and good concepts, and I know they both can deliver a punch. I have to give the slighter edge to blue here though, because he has been coming quite good over the last couple weeks
Winner: Blue Bayou

Cont: Chrit Vs. God0fwar
A beef battle that never happened a couple weeks into the season look for these guys to come hard with the personals. Although there is more on the line this week then the last time I still think that the upper hand goes to gow, because he knows how to throw the haymakers as does Chrit, but gow is more consistent.
Winner: GOW

DLB Vs. hollow Cost
DLB tbh I haven’t seen a real verse from him where he actually put any effort into it, until I saw his FL tourney match. So yeah he can battle when he is up for it. Hollow is getting better so this match will come down to if DLb is going to show up…My guess is no
Winner: Hollow Cost

A.T Vs. Wanderer
Wanderer had a wtf verse last week and AT had a good one, soooo with that being said I doubt wanderer will do another drunk verse, but who knows. AT has been consistant all season and I doubt he is going to stop now.
Winner: A.T

A.Karp Vs. Gramur
Ive only seen a couple battles from Gram, but I did like what he was writing, dude has good concepts and Ideas. Ive also seen what Akarp has been up to in the nc 1-2 punch league and he has solid wording plus funny punches so with that being said.
Winner: A. karp

Shunned1 Vs. Raydeoh
An evenily matched battle for the most part with the slight edge to Ray, both thse guys need a win to improve their spots for the playoffs. Look for this to be a close battles, but I still have to give the advantage to Ray.
Winner: raydeoh

Arch Vs. Personal
Both these guys have been coming consistent week in and week out losing to top tier guys so this battle is going to be a close one. Although I do think that Arch punches are a little better. I will not take anything from personal, and this is definitely a BOTW candidate.
Winner: Arch

Bey Vs. Stylized
Stylized is making a return after a few weeks out and Bey is getting into the swing of things again here on RB. I think that Bey is more polished then Stylized is and thats why im giving Bey the upper hand in this battle.
Winner:Bey.

Untold Vs. Cred
An evenly matched battle, Untold and Cred have both been doing there things coming with good punches and concepts. Both have wording issues at time, and I see this battle coming down to one quotable. Im really up in the air on this one.
Winner: Untold

Cry Vs. M-Vario
Cry came out the gate last with with a decent no-show verse and MV is continually improving. I still think that cry has the more experience and more polished type of verse then MV does, but he can still surprise me and come doper.
Winner: cry

Miracle Vs. Dehesa
Miracle was a former Fl champ and Dehesa came with an ight no-show verse last week. I think that Miracle still has some issues he needs to work out with is text. Ill give this one to Dehesa, because he does come with some nicely thought of concepts for sure.
Winnerehesa

Philly Vs. Bongkers
Bongkers surprised me with his verse last week and if he takes the suggestions from what the voters said Philly may have his hands full. Although I like both these guys style I still think that philly will come more consistent this week.
Winner: Philly

Token Vs. J. Hens
Another BOTW contender tokes and Hens have been known text heads for awhile now. Im not sure ive ever seen both them battle eachother I think its going to be a good one. Hens can lay witty concepts and Ideas left and right. While tokes Is good at those haymakers. This one will come down to consistency and I give the edge to Mr. Hens
Winner: J. Hens

[Tim]

Rankings
$pitacular1 10-0
Chrit. 8-4
Untold. 6-3
Cred 6-4
A.T 6-4
Wanderer 6-6
ThatKidCry 5-3
M-Var!o 5-3
Shunned1 5-6
Arch. 4-2
Token. 4-2
J. Hens 4-2
Blue Bayou 4-0
Per$onal 4-1
Raydeoh 3-4
God0fwar 3-1
Miracle 3-3
Dehesa 2-0
Philly® 2-1
Bongkers 1-1
DLB 1-1
Bey 1-0
Stylized 1-2
Hollow Cost 1-4
A.Karp 0-0
Gramur 0-0

[Tim]

Outro
So that's the mag. Hope you guys enjoyed it...continue to vote and drop dopeness. Special thanks to A.T and Chrit for their top 10 punches opinions. And thanks for you guys for continuing to show up ready to battle textually.

_tim

[Rant]

Dope magazine Tim.

[SmokaJoka]

I dig the different opinions on top punches

[A.T.]

Dope shit Tim! The different opinions was cool!

[BaKeR]

cool mag.