10 lines
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due 1 hour.
this is my check.
Lumbee
Jefferson
10 lines
3 feedback links must be provided before or at the end of your piece.
due 1 hour.
this is my check.
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Originally Posted by Celph Taut
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ok.. check.
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Originally Posted by Celph Taut
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No matter what you got, i know i got this,
you mad i put my John Smith, in your ex-gf pocahontis?
Say's hes not mexican, he told RB hes native american
Too bad vets' consensus says hes regulated to a 2nd class citizen
Cool, in his pics, his pops looks like his dad could be his own brother,
I stomp fools like you, because I trash Indian Summer,
I got many ways to murder ya, I got textual skills,
wacks it to gay porn since hes gets no sexual thrills,
Eddie Guerrero? Oh no, its only Lumbee,
he ain't here to save you, but it wasn't because of me
blah
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Originally Posted by Celph Taut
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Ha Ha! Looks like Lumbee ain't showin'.
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Jeff thinks he'll roc-a-fella, nah, your pathetic, weak
only thing you got in common with Jay, is making memphis bleek
made a fake quote by the whackest head for a compliment
flows 'old', but i wouldn't 'depends' on you accomplishin 'shit'
your the underdog, so you'll get fucked like a common bitch
got his mom wonderin how Jeff-er-son if he aint got a dick
cock's sig is fabricated, and what the fucks the smilie brah
always gettin scrambled, be damned if you see sunny side up
and watch him change his profile, cause he knows he's no match
with a old style, doggy paddlin against current, ya flows whacked
Jefferson
No matter what you got, i know i got this,
you mad i put my John Smith, in your ex-gf pocahontis?
Funny line here i like the humor and the John smith concept
Say's hes not mexican, he told RB hes native american
Too bad vets' consensus says hes regulated to a 2nd class citizen
as a personal punch it was ok but not much impact
Cool, in his pics, his pops looks like his dad could be his own brother,
I stomp fools like you, because I trash Indian Summer,
Good Punch
I got many ways to murder ya, I got textual skills,
wacks it to gay porn since hes gets no sexual thrills,
Ok punch but the gay porn lines been used too much
Eddie Guerrero? Oh no, its only Lumbee,
he ain't here to save you, but it wasn't because of me
Weak ending
Lumbee
Jeff thinks he'll roc-a-fella, nah, your pathetic, weak
only thing you got in common with Jay, is making memphis bleek
Good opener like the wordplay and the concept in the second line
made a fake quote by the whackest head for a compliment
flows 'old', but i wouldn't 'depends' on you accomplishin 'shit'
Creative but shoulda switched up the depends line i got it though
your the underdog, so you'll get fucked like a common bitch
got his mom wonderin how Jeff-er-son if he aint got a dick
Good punch overall creativity with the nameplay
cock's sig is fabricated, and what the fucks the smilie brah
always gettin scrambled, be damned if you see sunny side up
weak punch coulda came diffrent
and watch him change his profile, cause he knows he's no match
with a old style, doggy paddlin against current, ya flows whacked
ok punch here maybe somehting else coulda worked with the second line
V= Lumbee
Overall he had the betta punchlines and nameplay structure was creative. Jefferson had some personal punchlines but i didnt see alot of impact.
Lumbee got this easily, well structured punches, good nameplay.. jefferson you got a little bit of work to do, work on your wording and how you go about your concepts. no hate
v- lumbee
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opener - Lumbee
flow - Lumbee
punches - Lumbee
multies - Lumbee
nameplay/wordplay - Lumbee
complexity - Lumbee
content - Lumbee
personals - Lumbee
closer - Lumbee
i seen this as one sided, while jeff had the attempts on personals about his backround im sure u coulda made an effort to touch up flow, delivery, and how about u clown him if u wanted to incorporate those personals.
lumbee on the other hand, didnt have strong punches per se, but had a dope line when he used a name flip and personal in one, it went together pretty smoothly. thats what stuck out to me most, the jeff er son thing was aight too but i used that on him in a previous battle..it worked out for u but im jus lettin u know as more and more battles come that it'll be played out reeal quick.
vote - Lumbee
lol @ callin me a wack head, s'all good tho. elevation is key my niggas. 1
D Block: Humble But Hungry by Large Amount
Jack Riches ft. John Stock & P. Body - No Talkin'
track #11
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up..
nothing
vs
your the underdog, so you'll get fucked like a common bitch
got his mom wonderin how Jeff-er-son if he aint got a dick
cock's sig is fabricated, and what the fucks the smilie brah
always gettin scrambled, be damned if you see sunny side up
mehh battle, at least on jefferson's side. Lumbee had more consistency and better punchlines and misdirection in such punchlines. no hate both, just be more creative. try to refrain from faggot jokes as they have been around longer than you have been alive.
v/lumbee
up.
^.. agian.
up.
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