Raydeoh 2-1 (wins) Vs. Gabriel570 1-1

[Tim]

Lethal Lyricist League Week 9

Due Times
Check in due Thursday 11.59pm EST.
- if you don't check in by this time, and you DO end up posting, -2 votes.
Verses due by Friday 11.59pm EST.
- 2 hour grace period, if used -3 votes
-Max. Extension = 24 hours, to be granted by your opponent.

Line Limits
10 min and 20 max…If no line limit agreed, second battler to post must match first battler. But ultimately, first battler gets to set the line number by how much he posts.

Links
Must Leave 4 links to the battles you voted on in this thread somewhere. I'm not going to search for your votes. Failing to vote will result in -2 votes for every missing link.

[Raydeoh]

Check.. goin 12

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...852/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...853/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...846/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...55458&posted=1

[Gabriel570]

check

[Raydeoh]

Post up...

Ray hits the mark nice.. while you never start live..
Ya verses are so mild that newborns snuggle up to ya archive
Ho's fiend for Ray's love.. but jawns give you a straight shove..
'Cuz the only girls legs you partin'.. is them hairy bitches needin' them shaped up
Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it
You're wit is average.. nobody ever saw your genius..
You don't excel with words.. microsoft are just words chicks call your penis
Brave is what you bein' G.. steppin' to Ray when he's freakin' keys..
But the only reason you noble is 'cuz you write it so frequently
I'm pleased to see.. it wasn't as easy as I thought to wrangle you bitch..
This one'll come down to the wire.. that I choose to strangle you with

[Gabriel570]

This whack poser lacks closure plus none of his raps doper
His skills is like the 15th of Nisan, somethin i can easily pass over
You get bodied by vets that I'm shocked that yu remain a emcee
U take so much L's that ur battle record matches the name of this league
I exceed wit tactical raps, Ray wudn't leave a actual scratch
His skills wudn't be marked as a legend like a Geographical map
When I spit in battles I'm equip wit ammo like a clip from rambo
Ur loosin ur grip buh u prolli experience that cuz ur bitch has thicker handles
My rap regime will shit on ur whacker schemes n leave yu wit gaspin screams
U wud take this battle hands down buh their occupied wit smooth vaseline
I didnt put the effort to spit buh next week I'll show LLL how to embrace skill
And if this dude keeps acting like a stubborn bitch than ill tell ray chill(Rachael)



blahhhh

[Rant]

Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it
You're wit is average.. nobody ever saw your genius..
You don't excel with words.. microsoft are just words chicks call your penis


Vs
nothing



I thought Rey had some cool lines n was pretty fresh. Thought your verse was nice, Gabe ur lines were just too forward n that stopped em from hitting. Anyhow


V raydeoh

[A.T.]

Ray hits the mark nice.. while you never start live..
Ya verses are so mild that newborns snuggle up to ya archive
kinda funny, but corny at the same time
Ho's fiend for Ray's love.. but jawns give you a straight shove..
'Cuz the only girls legs you partin'.. is them hairy bitches needin' them shaped up
eh... think the concepts funny, but something wasn't there
Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it
lol... I liked this
You're wit is average.. nobody ever saw your genius..
You don't excel with words.. microsoft are just words chicks call your penis
seen this concept wayyyy to much.
Brave is what you bein' G.. steppin' to Ray when he's freakin' keys..
But the only reason you noble is 'cuz you write it so frequently
not feeling this one
I'm pleased to see.. it wasn't as easy as I thought to wrangle you bitch..
This one'll come down to the wire.. that I choose to strangle you with
ok closer

vs

This whack poser lacks closure plus none of his raps doper
His skills is like the 15th of Nisan, somethin i can easily pass over
not feeling bro
You get bodied by vets that I'm shocked that yu remain a emcee
U take so much L's that ur battle record matches the name of this league
3 L's? eh, not really feeling this one
I exceed wit tactical raps, Ray wudn't leave a actual scratch
His skills wudn't be marked as a legend like a Geographical map
like the concept, wording hurt you here, though
When I spit in battles I'm equip wit ammo like a clip from rambo
Ur loosin ur grip buh u prolli experience that cuz ur bitch has thicker handles
lol... wording was way off, but the concept was funny
My rap regime will shit on ur whacker schemes n leave yu wit gaspin screams
U wud take this battle hands down buh their occupied wit smooth vaseline
too many forced multies, and the wording of the punchline was off
I didnt put the effort to spit buh next week I'll show LLL how to embrace skill
And if this dude keeps acting like a stubborn bitch than ill tell ray chill(Rachael)
not feelin this

ok, weakish battle here, imo... but I think Ray took this, only because his wording
was better. Gab had some good concepts, but couldn't make them sting.

vote- Ray

[.deadproof.]

Ray hits the mark nice.. while you never start live..
Ya verses are so mild that newborns snuggle up to ya archive
this seems ok
Ho's fiend for Ray's love.. but jawns give you a straight shove..
'Cuz the only girls legs you partin'.. is them hairy bitches needin' them shaped up
no this wasn't for me
Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it
ok this was cool
You're wit is average.. nobody ever saw your genius..
You don't excel with words.. microsoft are just words chicks call your penis
this is really, really played
Brave is what you bein' G.. steppin' to Ray when he's freakin' keys..
But the only reason you noble is 'cuz you write it so frequently
this was dope
I'm pleased to see.. it wasn't as easy as I thought to wrangle you bitch..
This one'll come down to the wire.. that I choose to strangle you with
no this is also really played

vs


This whack poser lacks closure plus none of his raps doper
His skills is like the 15th of Nisan, somethin i can easily pass over
ok
You get bodied by vets that I'm shocked that yu remain a emcee
U take so much L's that ur battle record matches the name of this league
the wording in this was really bad
I exceed wit tactical raps, Ray wudn't leave a actual scratch
His skills wudn't be marked as a legend like a Geographical map
this is really played to man but your wording is good here
When I spit in battles I'm equip wit ammo like a clip from rambo
Ur loosin ur grip buh u prolli experience that cuz ur bitch has thicker handles
this was funny
My rap regime will shit on ur whacker schemes n leave yu wit gaspin screams
U wud take this battle hands down buh their occupied wit smooth vaseline
I dont like this
I didnt put the effort to spit buh next week I'll show LLL how to embrace skill
And if this dude keeps acting like a stubborn bitch than ill tell ray chill(Rachael)
this wordplay is a HUGE stretch I thought man


Ok I think Gabe had better wording but he fell off on his concepts somewhat and I think ray had played concepts not bad ones so it is really like goodwording/so-so concepts v.s. ok concepts/mild wording

vote: Gabe

[Chrit.]

Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it
You're wit is average.. nobody ever saw your genius..
You don't excel with words.. microsoft are just words chicks call your penis

vs

nothing

Gab came with some really weak attempts at punches. It just wasnt good and was worded poorly.

v/Raydeoh

[Token]

Raydeoh

Ray hits the mark nice.. while you never start live..
Ya verses are so mild that newborns snuggle up to ya archive
lol decent
Ho's fiend for Ray's love.. but jawns give you a straight shove..
'Cuz the only girls legs you partin'.. is them hairy bitches needin' them shaped up
aight
Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it
lol, nice
You're wit is average.. nobody ever saw your genius..
You don't excel with words.. microsoft are just words chicks call your penis
no, SUPER played
Brave is what you bein' G.. steppin' to Ray when he's freakin' keys..
But the only reason you noble is 'cuz you write it so frequently
a bit played, but a nice flip
I'm pleased to see.. it wasn't as easy as I thought to wrangle you bitch..
This one'll come down to the wire.. that I choose to strangle you with
played concept, nice wording

nice showing, was a pretty good read. nothing horrible, (although some badly played) mostly decents to cools with a few dopes

vs.

This whack poser lacks closure plus none of his raps doper
His skills is like the 15th of Nisan, somethin i can easily pass over
lacked the wording, not a bad idea tho
You get bodied by vets that I'm shocked that yu remain a emcee
U take so much L's that ur battle record matches the name of this league
played
I exceed wit tactical raps, Ray wudn't leave a actual scratch
His skills wudn't be marked as a legend like a Geographical map
played, again...
When I spit in battles I'm equip wit ammo like a clip from rambo
Ur loosin ur grip buh u prolli experience that cuz ur bitch has thicker handles
nah.. bad wording
My rap regime will shit on ur whacker schemes n leave yu wit gaspin screams
U wud take this battle hands down buh their occupied wit smooth vaseline
hands down, is another really played concept.
I didnt put the effort to spit buh next week I'll show LLL how to embrace skill
And if this dude keeps acting like a stubborn bitch than ill tell ray chill(Rachael)
not feelin this

you seem to have aight ideas, they are just behind the times. you might just need to battle more and read more battles because alot of your stuff was played. keep at it.

Vote: Raydeoh

[Per$onal]

Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it

vs

nothin

ray had a decent verse, and it was more than enough to beat gabriel, who didn't come with anything worth quoting and had big wording issues

[$pitacular]

Ray hits the mark nice.. while you never start live..
Ya verses are so mild that newborns snuggle up to ya archive
haha fresh concept, love the swag delivery and style you have
Ho's fiend for Ray's love.. but jawns give you a straight shove..
'Cuz the only girls legs you partin'.. is them hairy bitches needin' them shaped up
this wasn't witty but it was funny because your delivery was tight. still can't really say it's a complete punch but funny nonetheless
Being a sloth is your habit.. Gabe's never postin' that rad shit..
Even if you had a remote touch of skill.. you're way too lazy to grab it
dope, never seen remote used as a lazy play.. cool
You're wit is average.. nobody ever saw your genius..
You don't excel with words.. microsoft are just words chicks call your penis
hmm.. if this has never been done I'd be shocked. it's an old joke ripoff basically, but structured well, from flow to setup you're a surprisingly good writer.
Brave is what you bein' G.. steppin' to Ray when he's freakin' keys..
But the only reason you noble is 'cuz you write it so frequently
doesn't make sense. He's no bull, because that's what he writes? nah. complipunch. Don't like it
I'm pleased to see.. it wasn't as easy as I thought to wrangle you bitch..
This one'll come down to the wire.. that I choose to strangle you with
I used a better wire play back in the day against Feeble. I think it was against Feeble.. Something like, "this'll come down to the wire. as in wire you even posting you suck"

vs

This whack poser lacks closure plus none of his raps doper
His skills is like the 15th of Nisan, somethin i can easily pass over
huh? dude it's cool multi-out all day.. but if there's no punch there, meh..
You get bodied by vets that I'm shocked that yu remain a emcee
U take so much L's that ur battle record matches the name of this league
so he took three losses.. ok I guess.
I exceed wit tactical raps, Ray wudn't leave a actual scratch
His skills wudn't be marked as a legend like a Geographical map
this could have been fire, delivery was off and the way you formed the concept seemed to lack slightly, and made it seem like it's not even a punch
When I spit in battles I'm equip wit ammo like a clip from rambo
Ur loosin ur grip buh u prolli experience that cuz ur bitch has thicker handles
this was kind of cool, but like I said, if you're going to multi so much you need to have DOPE punches and well, you're not showing me that
My rap regime will shit on ur whacker schemes n leave yu wit gaspin screams
U wud take this battle hands down buh their occupied wit smooth vaseline
why is it "smooth" vaseline? We know vaseline is smooth.. it made this punch sound like YOU'RE gay or jacking off, because of the way you presented it. Killed yourself here man..
I didnt put the effort to spit buh next week I'll show LLL how to embrace skill
And if this dude keeps acting like a stubborn bitch than ill tell ray chill(Rachael)
lmao.. in wordplay, you NEVER explain the meaning, ever. That just makes you look like you're a child and don't realize we're extremely intelligent writers, and recognize an easy wordplay right away. That wordplay was wack, you don't need to explain it. Word on your concepts, forget about trying to rhyme every word.

Raydeoh takes this fairly easy... obviously Gabriel is straight outta frontlines and needs help.. so let's help him. Raydeoh you're similar to Gabriel honestly but have more of a concept of how to write punches. Keep moving toward concepts instead of multis as well, but don't lose your crisp wording. That goes for both of you

v/ Raydeoh