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Thread: Alone with my Bottle

  1. #1
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Alone with my Bottle




    Alone with my bottle

    Automatic shifter, mixin the elixir
    Cups in the dash board, gas at the half mark
    Headed to the south park, blazin away the day
    Speedin down frist ave, visor blockin out the shade
    Thinkin bout getting paid, chillin at my residence
    Stumbling up the stairs without a care, this is effortless
    Shorty she be heaven sent, but I aint even buggin
    She known to blow a high cause her mouth is always runnin
    Life before my eyes, I just ran a light
    Tried to make a left turn while driftin in the right
    Now I need a doctor, a medical physician
    Someone with creditials or that can pay attention
    Damn I must be trippin, still drivin down second
    This bottle is a miracle cause I was off to heaven
    Then I hear the screams, beginning of a nightmare
    Suddenly my concienceness awakeness me, im right there
    Face to face with a child, thirteen, still alive
    At the hood of my car while im coastin at sixty five
    Feelin helpless, too late to even realize
    The billboards n signs were right, dont drink n drive at night



    Last edited by KnowP; March 25th, 2011 at 02:01 PM

  2. #2
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Last edited by KnowP; March 25th, 2011 at 02:15 PM

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! theflo's Avatar
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    lovin it fam.
    Like the flow, word play, clear setup everything.
    Solid ass piece right here.

    good shit tho.

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  4. #4

    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    Yeh. Pretty raw dawg.

  5. #5
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    preciate the lil feedback fellas...

    uppin for more critique

  6. #6
    huh? Vinzr's Avatar
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    Damn good drop bro. Introduced and incorporated the topic in to the drop well. Heavy with emotion, I could feel it all the way through and also the flow was real good. Dont really know what else to talk about.

    Then I hear the screams, beginning of a nightmare
    Suddenly my concienceness awakeness me, im right there
    Face to face with a child, thirteen, still alive
    At the hood of my car while im coastin at sixty five
    Feelin helpless, too late to even realize
    The billboards n signs were right, dont drink n drive at night
    Cool couple of bars here...nothin' seem forced and flow was tight.

    Overall good solid drop here man.

  7. #7

    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    This sucks but if this really happened to you im very sorry I wasnt really feelin this i was expecting much more

  8. #8
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    Thanks vin....preciate the feedback fam....queen, I feel bad for u

    Uppin. Drop links. I will rtf....

  9. #9
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    Tight bro, love the wordplay and I can scan out the flow. I feelin it bro,keep it up.

  10. #10
    Express'on is EVERYTHING Express'on's Avatar
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    I dont think this piece was clear enough..there was too many things going on...the story lacked that bridge between rhyme scheme and emotion...there was alot of forced rhymes and imagery was vague...u had a lil in the first bar but even that lacked on the rhythm aspect...u got some talent this just was below par imo...
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  11. #11

    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    I liked it...i felt like u can do better though..it just seems like u rushed it and didnt take alot of time on it...but for a fast quick piece it was nice..1luv
    The game aint dirty Its just the niggas in it

  12. #12
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    Automatic shifter, mixin the elixir
    Cups in the dash board, gas at the half mark
    Headed to the south park, blazin away the day
    Speedin down frist ave, visor blockin out the shade
    Thinkin bout getting paid, chillin at my residence
    Stumbling up the stairs without a care, this is effortless
    pretty cool peice man i liked have you started off and you had a unique rhyme scheme..i read it twice just to make sure i go everything i really like how u opened and started off, flow was tight throughout the whole read.. good piece man keep it up

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...622/index.html

  13. #13
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    thanks for all the love yall for real. glad you liked it. i'll hit that up in a few Skan

  14. #14
    The game aint dirty Its just the niggas in it

  15. #15
    Im High as Fuck Linus's Avatar
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    Re: Alone with my Bottle

    this was sick
    i liked the topic and it was consistent
    good flow and rhymes i really dug that last part
    "Feelin helpless, too late to even realize"
    sick dude
    keep posting bro

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