Appreciate small things, feel lucky for big things

[Young Whip]

Maybe this is something for yah to understand and visualize
Open the eyes, this isnt for the new and weakened mind
Cuz you can be focused with shine then greeted with lies
Then you start freakin out and start fallin into a demise
Something about shock you just cant quite take it
Because that is when your whole world begins shakin
The natural reaction is to collapse and start earthquakin
You cant understand why cuz all the advice is vacant
Empty only hearing what you wanna hear never nothin else
Something about fear it makes you never want any help
Cuz the brain tells you, yo you can only help your self
So as you try to ease the pain not knowing how you've felt
The days before are yesterday the past nothing current
Not knowing the future can bring something thats ensurin
Quite possibly adversity a bitch but it proves endurance
Rise over all obstacles get hurt you cant have no insurance
Now everything freezin your soul feelin colder than a popsicle
Trynuh make sense with life with lines that are not riddled
Haters try to deviate your plans to make your plot chizzled
Recreate into the upper hand to where the fire make hot sizzle!

:gats:

^^Something about it made me put it up there

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=442094
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...274/index.html

[Silk Sky]

this was cool. I think it would sound great audio because it has that audio vibe to it. A little simple for just a text, but again most writtens meant for audio are. Be careful with your wording, ie "fall in a demise" should be "fall to your demise" I do like some of your word choices tho, such as "advice is vacant", shows you think outside the box a little, which is key. I would switch up your rhyme scheme/structure perhaps in the middle or at the end, or add a chorus. Not only does the content need to be interesting but how it sounds is important for audio too, and atm its very sing-songy without a whole lot of change. You've got some emotion to this piece and its def a topic most can relate too. Nice job, I'll be keeping an eye out for your future writtens. Please RTF on "7 Story Mountain" thanks.