Why Do We Exist

[English]

woah

[Dex'Labb]

feedback = returned honest feed on *1* of your newest OM's....you want a real opinion? hit me uppppp

[Dex'Labb]

cake bossin'

[Tool]

bump4Dex

[nekrowlogikal]

for such an asshole... you actually wrote a great piece. keep writing man. i'll be looking out for more of your stuff.

[Dex'Labb]

Lol tool its all Love huh, thanks for your appreciation Nekro...I gotta write somethin' SOON

[Egaffur]

A frozen scorn of winter drifts in my soul,
Like a lunar eclipse, the world dissapears &..
An echo - unheard - drips through the holes,
this was a sick scheme to me I liked it.
Of my uncertainties;
intergalaxtic interference.
static rumours erupt, into shocking doubts..
...flashes of a life as somebody else.
this was cool as well.
But when the lights go down,
the small struggle to just breathe..
- as if everything Quantum has drowned.
n' it's 1 AM, I can't sleep or vent frustration..
it's as if the final chord is hangin',
- "And Now" - Dun,Dun, - "For Our" - Dun,Dun,Dun -
"Feature Presentation." - DUN DUN DUN, DUNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNN..- into infinity,
ears ringing, I can always hear it...
when I'm silent.
I felt this part was a little scattered. I didnt like the presentation.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Can you feel it?
It lurks in the air like a lost genome.
A puzzle shattered into trillions of packets,
That buzz about the world, impactin'
the wrong fields, besides - we're lost people.
this was cool. nice wordplay.
Freeze frame, I turn out my lights..
these days, I feel as if...I can never be right.
transmission of pheramones,
sent into the air, the coldest of glares corrode
the surface of my airid cloak.
ok. some of this felt forced, but good imagery.
the one I wear in public, invisiblity.
- made possible by the fakes who feelin' me!
I think ya made a mistake, you,as real as ME?
n' we'd be a most unlikely pair, like teal & green..
- flashbacks, to 1 AM's, close those eyes..
If ya got a solo vibe, can ya hear Manolo cries?
comin' from that proto-type, that girl..
starin' with those go-go eyes, & the no-no, I'm-
'not taken.' We'll, girl, I'm a bit taken away...
cause', I feel a bit vacant, like a Motel 8...
after, the apocalypse, how, I oughta' LIVE!
n' I dedicate this as 'ode to the bottomless.'
& oh, how the Prada spits, like a snake in eden,
started the question with, 'why do, we exist..'
maybe I'll end it with fiendin'..
this part was awesome.
seems like greed extends to the weakened..
nice bitches & money, all kept me at dreamin'..
but tonight, man..
this could have been better after the climatic build up.

tonight,
is different. a clockwork orange,
champagne on the rocks of an akward form
I imagine myself beyond this planet,
into the galaxy, surrounded by blackness.
past those foreign cars, porn stars, n' actrices
that drive those Hollywood gears, arrivin' where -
the madness is, like a wind up song,
n' if you didn't wind it, well, u wouldn't belong.
it's just alright for me.
I feel the, Universe in my veins,
the curses from chains, of stars burstin' in flames
no love, no nurses of change,
above, no murderers reign, cause the clouds
in our heads all purge with the rain..
as it falls, all the meanwhile the curtains remain,
closed, there's no shows, no splurgin' on stage
no flirtin' with no girls, no pefect ass days,
no hate and no love, no purpose to stay,
no war and no peace, no burnin' remains,
of powerful empires, that lurk in the gray
oppertunities collide - the turnin' of waves
& We wouldn't be here,
if the universe had it's way.
again this part was just ok for me.

an' here's some inspiration for the saddest g's
..don't you EVER forget, that WE beat GRAVITY
& WE beat the universe, we all HAPPENED, see
life is a FLAW, just inbetween realities.....
so if you're not livin, then a God ain't winnin'
don't you SEE NOW? SEE NOW, U ain't wishin'....
on NO stars, why the FUCK would they listen?
so get out into the world, & start L i v i n g.
This part was straight. inner tensions are interesting here. Overall a pretty good drop I enjoyed the read.

my link:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...709/index.html

[Express'on]

I didnt really get it...i might decide to break it down the first stanza was ok cuz it kind of reminded me of a poem I did called Puppet...with the infinity section...however u kind of were everywhere I dont think u actuall saida nething until ur 3 stanza and that was stagnant cuz u lost the imagery cuz of rhyme scheme..idk I just dont see the hype...u did end very good though it made it seem like u connected everything but in reality it just summerized the last half of ur 3 stanza...watever good write

[Dex'Labb]

Egafur thanks for taking the time to put the entire verse down like that, every opinion counts. I'll RTF by tonight just got alotta tournaments on stars to attend to right now Haha sunday is Poker day....and Poetic Concept, you may not agree with my form of writing or the way it was presented..but I'm glad you read this.

[Tool]

Lol tool its all Love huh

fasho

[StaCC.]

we exist cuz of the big bang :x

cud of been a lot better i feel like on your word play, i felt the flow was off, but some parts were tight, i just wasnt feeling the word play

[Spoken Deity]

how has this been open with no links?

[Tool]

it has links, he PM'ed them to a previous mod

plus I can vouch that he reciprocates practically every feed and in his small bursts of activity he is among the better feeders (and writers, incidentally) here

leave it be.

[Dex'Labb]

^what he said.

Can't believe this reached over 1k..I am now content Haha, that's alot of views...that's alotta inspiration...

[HeXiDecible]

Excellent read from front to back.. for me it has been a good wile before i have read a good piece like this. to me this is a 10/10 ... lol i have read it four times... i cant pick at it ..

Good Shit!