The struggle to stay real (Part 1)

[Xenon Aus]

I was sitting in Maths the other day and i decided to have a write.

Got a go get it impression of this poetic profession.
Hope you get the lesson, cuz you know I flow direct for the session.
Then evolve into a multicultural, single higher species.
Above these rappers with mouths like cannons that fire feces.
And bring shame, to our hobby, our culture.
While record execs lobby as a cloud of vultures.
Looking for scraps of slackers that I didn’t devour.
Great rappers and great people smitten with power.
Image consultants’ tryna enhance vintage impulses.
But this aint quiditch so why you tryna enter the scrimmage of soldiers.
And make or break an MC and leave the man fake.
Mixing and matching concepts. Bitch we aren’t lamb steak.
Let us be how we wanna be, rap how we wanna rap.
But these masses are like seals in the sea and now they’re gonna clap.
And a true fan deserves a true idol.
But what was the best twenty years ago is the new vital.

[Xenon Aus]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...926/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...945/index.html

[143]

Let's Go

Got a go get it impression of this poetic profession.
Hope you get the lesson, cuz you know I flow direct for the session.
Then evolve into a multicultural, single higher species.
Above these rappers with mouths like cannons that fire feces.

Nice, the opener gave a good set up. The last line kinda calmed the heat.

And bring shame, to our hobby, our culture.
While record execs lobby as a cloud of vultures.
Looking for scraps of slackers that I didn’t devour.
Great rappers and great people smitten with power.

Good way to deepen the topic with examples, good structure and flow here

Image consultants’ tryna enhance vintage impulses.
But this aint quiditch so why you tryna enter the scrimmage of soldiers.
And make or break an MC and leave the man fake.
Mixing and matching concepts. Bitch we aren’t lamb steak.

I see where you were going with this set up but the "quiditch" hurt the reference to scrimmage of soldiers. Overall you got a good vision.

Let us be how we wanna be, rap how we wanna rap.
But these masses are like seals in the sea and now they’re gonna clap.
And a true fan deserves a true idol.
But what was the best twenty years ago is the new vital.

I feel the ending and this is the best part of the drop. Good closer

OVERALL: I see where you were going with this drop and the observation you were making between these industry hoes and real mc's. The flow was straight and didn't fall off, the vocab was decent, what could have took this to another level is the wordplay and mets. But you get that with time and reading. They were a little common and one threw off the line but you had the right idea. Continue to write about different stuff and listen to people talk because you'll pick up words and phrases that could heighten the image in your drop. Good Job......Peace

[143]

double post bump...

[Xenon Aus]

uppin