Heart on my sleeve.

[Varkatzas]

Heart on my sleeve


Today, I cleared space in my life.
threw away lost hopes, loves and dreams;

Faught my way through jungles
of dust, hiding the shameful ignorence
I show for life.
every moment is golden;
the laughs, fights and tears
that these paper portraits hold.

I baptised myself, setting
fire to the old me, the sad me,
stood holding her hand in every shot
- (to the heart) - ME!

Old guitars and strings that wept all night
to block the screams.

"If that guitar cried out...
it was only to show
I wasn't the only one with those emoitons."

I ripped up bills
and gave the finger to taxes.
torn letters -
not one harbored love,
except from family.

I looked back at the world;
stood silent
and empathised with the boy,
fore I had walked
more than my fare share
in those shoes.

[Varkatzas]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...400/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...962/index.html

[Soul Slayer]

Mhhm, we can only speak for thing we've been through right....?
I enjoyed this piece. It didn't seem forced. The transitions were smooth
much like the flow. I guess we all have reflections in these life's we live.
It's easier to relate because we go through emotion every day. Thats
what really caught my eye the most. The personifications and artistic vibe
that was in this piece.

Old guitars and strings that wept all night
to block the screams.

That was one of my favorite lines from this. The emotion he went through
much like the sorrow in the strings of the guitar. Well written Comrade.
This is getting slept on... Its a pity, poetry is slow around this time of year.
Overall; a subtle and effective poem. Really enjoyed this, Great work.
If you wanna return the feed, please follow this link.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...344/index.html

[Varkatzas]

Thanks and done.

[ItoldUIwasFat]

i enjoyed reading this peice.... it seemed to flow together so well..there wher no parts that didnt fit, everything was well written and well expressed..

I baptised myself, setting
fire to the old me, the sad me,
stood holding her hand in every shot
- (to the heart) - ME!

i loved this stanza here...the imagery and word usage are exceptional...like i said i really enjoyed reading this..

[Varkatzas]

Thanks very much.

[Varkatzas]

anyone else?

[Sanka]

"I looked back at the world;
stood silent
and empathised with the boy,
fore I had walked
more than my fare share
in those shoes.
"
I like this too. Flowed nice for me. Simple and to the point, and well written.

[Jukon]

the poetic vibe in this piece was really nice. you kept it simple yet packed it tight. it read nicely, no stutters in the flow..it was solid. the imagery was really nice..it felt very realistic..good shit man.

[Soule]

Ayo Aavina. Dope poem man. Was trying to copy stanzas to post in my feedback for 'things that stood out'. But I couldn't dude, everything fit so well together and I really couldn't see something to complain about. Wording was real clean and I really liked the concept you brought to the table here bud. I'm glad to see people like you, fresh, kon and blaydes keeping this forum active and worth viewing. It's really cool to see some people actually giving a fuck and spending time in here. Dope poem. please hit up my new one please.

[Android]

Another great piece, this had good emotion. Wasn't as packed full of metaphors and vocabulary as some of your other pieces but I don't think it needed it to be honest. You used imagery and emotion expertly I thought. I thought it could have ended on a stronger note if I'm honest but I really did enjoy it. The phrasing was pretty good also. Favourite lines were;

I baptised myself, setting
fire to the old me, the sad me,
stood holding her hand in every shot
- (to the heart) - ME!

Not usually a fan of rhyme schemes but this was phrased wonderfully. Very easy to relate to also, nice job. Keep it up.