O' what a beautiful morning (on earth)

[Varkatzas]

O' what a beautiful morning (on earth)

The sun;
opens up the day,
a babies eye
narrow to their fist
imagery.
today, rain will
fill up our mouths like
syrup to bee's,
nesting light-years
away
from the sun.

Corn-fields; men,
working to provide
shelter from the heat.
shade so
baby’s eyes can
find wonder,
see clearly the image
of Mother Nature;
awaiting their arrival.

Good morning-
to the birds at play,
their melodies
crescendo,
on the day
cloulds give way-
to beams of light
reflect on dew
from rains last night.

Cool breezes give
slight trembling
at tree-tops,
as seeds fall
to the soil
and climb
to life.

The scene unfolds
with haste,
giving way-
for a new day.

Today, it will rain
and Mother Nature
shall provide shelter
for us.

Collaboration written by,
Δανιήλ & Clee

[Varkatzas]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...997/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...908/index.html

[Varkatzas]

bump

[Jukon]

Returning the kind favour.

This was refreshing to read. It's nice to come home after a bad morning and read this.

The sun;
opens up the day,
a babies eye
narrow to their fist
imagery.

Really nice for a starter, it was intersting and drew me in. you two meshed really nice together,

another favorite part,

The scene unfolds
with haste,
giving way-
for a new day.

Today, it will rain
and Mother Nature
shall provide shelter
for us.

idk what about this that I like, it was just a simple closer yet there was inner meaning. I liked it..very elegantly written. Good collab guys..hope to see you two drop more.

[Varkatzas]

thanks friend.

[Clee]

ascend

[Varkatzas]

any feed?

[Android]

This was a nice little collaboration, pretty well written on both halves. First person, I thought you did well. However I did think you had some lines that were just there for the sake of being there. lol Lines such as 'imagery' and you moved some words down a line when they could have stayed on the line prior or after, such as 'away' could have been 'away from the sun.' It didn't really effect the piece much though. I liked it some nice imagery and metaphors, overall your poetic devices were good. Nice job. Second person, nice job also. thought you had some nice images in there also, such as the 'reflect on dew' but I felt it was a little out-shone on the technical side by the first verse. Not by much though, styles matched well and produced an overall good drop. I would have thought it was all one person if not for the difference in punctuation. lol One of you used semi-colons whilst the other used dashes. Nice drop.

[Mantra]

First of all, how do you say your name?

Second, please don't use a link more than once.
(You already used the link to Souls Slayer's poem for your "porcelain" thread)

Noticed you did the same thing for "desperado".