Couple of bars..

[iLL Techniques]

Time to sin again, no I don't pretend
never lend, buds I blend, stoner trend
don't offend, your life could end
right then you got stabbed with a pen
if you front, thats what I intend
I wisely spend, your raps are pending
no ones attending, your skills descending
wack lyrics your defending

Couple of bars I wrote down when I was blazin.

[A-S3T]

we should start a crew

[Prophet Margin]

not long enuff for me to offer any real crit.....its a decent freestyle...thats all i can say....

[G.O.A.T.]

shoulda just put this into the cypher section....its not really OM quality

[SirusX 2.0]

goats right.

a few suggestions...
expand.
all your bars could be explained meaning...
time to sin again, talk bout sinning what you would do, type of sin
stabbed with a pen, talk bout why you/how you stabbin em with the pen what does the ink in the pen do after you poke em ... that should help.

[G.O.A.T.]

^^yeah...i was wrong for not leavin any actual feedback, my fault...

but yeah like sirus said..you gotta get into details...think of some shit that normal people wont think of...you gotta draw your readers into your work...like sirus said, expand your thoughts and think outside of normality...hopefully that'll help

[Mr Silky]

Reading it, I feel like him telling a story instead of you telling me the story you feel me?? need to get more indepth with the piece, even sort stuff can be great... but just try expand a lil... stay up though.

[the Titan]

well man, I'm a big fan of internals and multies so in that sense this isn't bad, but if it's gonna be this short, it would be cool to have even more! like 5, 6 or even 7 syllables so that it's tight as fuck. Basically though, if you could keep as tight as you're goin here throughout a sort of 16 bar or whatever it'd be pretty damn impressive.

Keep it up man, write loads like this length an try to fit um together, that might help, but nice for like - first drop man, well done.

[ArcherPriest]

ima be real witcha homie.. had a nice lil flow to it but lyrics suffered.. decent freestyle at best.. all love tho, keep droppin

[iLL Techniques]

Thanks for all the opinions & help.