Identity

[143]

born with a question, identity was left guessin'
how could God made me without the Lord's blessin'
why you figure that i would spout anger at the heavens
my skin brightens like the day glow, then darken about 7
the tale of two bloods, mixture of clashing titans
my mother, a former black panther, has a side of me fighting
while my father, Italy's finest, got my anger inviting
enticing victims to diner then stabbing strokes like lightning
who would ever thought that the two would cross paths
sip vino from the same glass, blend sweat on the same pad
from this unholy union, the spawn that both families shun
called "trick baby" and "moolyan", smiling like they finally won
thinking the best of me is like the rest of me, of weak stress
not realizing the strength given makes me care less
so i carelessly destruct structure like the crack epidemic
hide my face in shadows of hoodies praying for condemment
plus the aesthetic shock value of moving in many circles
creates a anathesiatic chant of words i recite in my verbals
so in a way my identity plays that of a waiting vulture
who pick clean the dead remnants of dispatching cultures
impacting ulcer i blend between the calm and the pain
intuitively sustain the presence by bombing against the grain
and answering the question without the Lord's Blessing
i was born without a soul, create for the Lord's testing

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...02&postcount=4

[143]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...36&postcount=2

[Silk Sky]

This was interesting...started out kinda bland but once I hit:

who would ever thought that the two would cross paths
sip vino from the same glass, blend sweat on the same pad

it was a completely different feel...really liked the progression of your descriptive emotion, and the ending was awesome!

my only criticisms:
consistency- imo this would be HOF nominee worthy on some sites (i havent been on this one long so I can't say if its HOF worthy here) if the intro was as solid as the rest.

word choice- you had a few words that were awkward imo:
"create" -last bar
"weak" stress bar 7
who "pick" clean- bar 10 (should be picked)
God "made" me- bar 1 (should be make)

other than those little hiccups, great job, looking forward to reading more from you.

ups!

[143]

Thanks for the feed, this was a rush job done at work after I hacked the system....I got a sequel ready to answer this will post in 24hrs.

[Lex Have Mercy.]

born with a question, identity was left guessin'
how could God made me without the Lord's blessin'
kinda simple TBH
why you figure that i would spout anger at the heavens
my skin brightens like the day glow, then darken about 7
decent
the tale of two bloods, mixture of clashing titans
my mother, a former black panther, has a side of me fighting
first line good second coulda been worded better IMO
while my father, Italy's finest, got my anger inviting
enticing victims to diner then stabbing strokes like lightning
decent
who would ever thought that the two would cross paths
sip vino from the same glass, blend sweat on the same pad
decent stuff
from this unholy union, the spawn that both families shun
called "trick baby" and "moolyan", smiling like they finally won
mhhm idk
thinking the best of me is like the rest of me, of weak stress
not realizing the strength given makes me care less
ok bar
so i carelessly destruct structure like the crack epidemic
hide my face in shadows of hoodies praying for condemment
nice i like this
plus the aesthetic shock value of moving in many circles
creates a anathesiatic chant of words i recite in my verbals
ok keep on going
so in a way my identity plays that of a waiting vulture
who pick clean the dead remnants of dispatching cultures
Brilliant my dude
impacting ulcer i blend between the calm and the pain
intuitively sustain the presence by bombing against the grain
real nice keep it up
and answering the question without the Lord's Blessing
i was born without a soul, create for the Lord's testing
Im sure you mean, Created for the LOrd's testing....

ok ok overall i deff agree with silky on this one,you started out kinda slow ..then towards the middle you let loose. some places your wording was Kinda Off ...That's about it... other then that a decent Piece here man, and i enjoyed reading it

keep it up son

[143]

Thanks for the feed uppin more