Cold Blood Line

[Shrinq]

First piece.

I may be only 16, but I spit the miracle shit
I'll rest you on your knees and watch your dome split
I don't give a fuck if you make fun of my ethnicity
The angle of my rhymes are simply complicity
You all juggle rhymes like it's your past time
None of you plan them like an organized crime
If you all would give 'em heart, they're more then just versus
And as I spit it, I watch as your converse reverses
And comes back to me, I swallow them whole to a intolerable degree

(chorus)
It's my cold blood line that makes me this way
To betray, dismay, not care which way I spray
It's my cold blood line that make me this way
To disobey everyday, I display my stray cliche

I'm white as bird shit, and you're probably taller
But to a blind man we are all the same color
Ever since my ancestors that I didn't have control over
Enslaved yours and possibly made yours roll over
If I could go back now, slavery would have never been an idea
I would even try and cause peace with the republic of Korea
This world could have equality even without war
And if you disagree tell those dead men at the D-Day shore
Lives are lost, to keep freedom and peace?
You say that shit on your couch feeding to be obese
The only way to give and receive peace and freedom
Is to grab hands form a circle and sing, um

(chorus)
It's my cold blood line that makes me this way
To betray, dismay, not care which way I spray
It's my cold blood line that make me this way
To disobey everyday, I display my stray cliche





http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...105/index.html#4

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post7715666#42

[Toon]

try to get more complex with your rhymes instead of rhyming the last word. good lyrcism could never hurt

[Shrinq]

Yeah I'll work on that, thanks though, means a lot you took time to read it

[QwarterZ]

This was purdy cool, it does need a bit of work the lines were decent
but it sort of reminds me of Asher Roths Y.O.U meaning you can't focus on your ethnicity
I mean you could but to me that shit gets annoying sometimes it's like ok.....prove why your good
you gotta let your words speak for you, you can't speak for yourself, then you'll get caught up in the hatred
then you'll start to feel like nah I don't want to do this, you know what I'm sayin'
keep writing

[Shrinq]

Yeah, that's a very good point. Never thought about it that way, thanks!

[Brennan Proctor]

I thought it was a good message and agree about the rhyme scheme but it was nice .

[Shrinq]

Thank you! And yeah I'll work on being more creative next time with that