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Thread: (my first Poem) Esacape-$Lil Saint$

  1. #1
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    (my first Poem) Esacape-$Lil Saint$

    Looking for a way out but when I Look I end up in the same Place
    Trying to find a Way out of this Hate,sin and Discrim. Of race
    Cant find that Path,im trapped up in the Way of Life in its own Pace
    No Bars but it seems Like im Locked in,no way out of this Life
    But its something Most People usually Take Lite
    As I watch out my window See crime all around Me
    Watching People Beaten with bats and Crumbled Building’s nothing but Debris
    As I finally Escape Running not Looking Back
    As my Feet Slam against the ground 1 at a time each Tap
    As Im Running heading Nowhere I still remember in my Mind
    About every night the Loud Noise’s as a big Bash
    Last edited by $Lil Saint$; May 6th, 2010 at 03:36 AM

  2. #2
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    Re: (my first Poem) Esacape-$Lil Saint$

    For a first its not as bad as mine was for sure. Poems usually get more personal in showing what is going on in the mind or heart of a poet. Imagery given to emotion is the name of the game. You said simply what you see and want to get away from. I liked how you described the actions happening and the scenery in which it took place. But you didn’t say much more about how that made you think, feel, see, or change. You just want to get away. I hope I was some help bc I’m new too

  3. #3
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    Re: (my first Poem) Esacape-$Lil Saint$

    Tanks for the feed ,i'll add that To my upcoming if you have anything Put the Link down i'll give you some feedback
    thanks tho,dude

  4. #4
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    Re: (my first Poem) Esacape-$Lil Saint$

    Yeah Im strugglin too I'd appretiate it
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=427910

  5. #5
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    Re: (my first Poem) Esacape-$Lil Saint$

    yo hmu im new on here and we should try 2 spit some good shit at these wanna bes

  6. #6
     
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    Re: (my first Poem) Esacape-$Lil Saint$

    don't post in other people's threads unless you intended on leaving a reply...especially when it's over a year old.
    ...

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