All falls down

[sir headless]

I think if a few members of RapBattle.com were HipHop, i would agree with Nas and say "HIP HOP IS DEAD" !

Drop my shit,

High,upstairs one day we knock on the door of saint peter
unethical deeds brought tears even for faintly believers
you cant fight back,till satans hand catches your back
he torns you apart,turns your heart deadly and black
parts of a path,aint visible until pursue them all
fear grew in ignorance,locked inside of silent walls
patience,waitin keeps the hope around us like auras
a plethroa of dependent nations,reign by evil personas
all falls down on the ground those are the rules of gravity
walked miles for epiphany feets became painful and blistery
awake all night,tryin to decode hatred and his followers
but sleepy hollows keep their secrets save from each one of us
we overdosed on self importance,visions of immortality
sacrificed personalitys were the price of human bestiality
prejudices polluted the mentailty of our new generation
unaware,they feel hate now even for an innocent nation

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...503/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...629/index.html

[sir headless]

Up !

[sir headless]

No feedback ?

[Anabolic]

I think if a few members of RapBattle.com were HipHop, i would agree with Nas and say "HIP HOP IS DEAD" !

Drop my shit,

High,upstairs one day we knock on the door of saint peter
unethical deeds brought tears even for faintly believers
you cant fight back,till satans hand catches your back
he torns you apart,turns your heart deadly and black
parts of a path,aint visible until pursue them all
fear grew in ignorance,locked inside of silent walls
patience,waitin keeps the hope around us like auras
a plethroa of dependent nations,reign by evil personas
all falls down on the ground those are the rules of gravity
walked miles for epiphany feets became painful and blistery
awake all night,tryin to decode hatred and his followers
but sleepy hollows keep their secrets save from each one of us
we overdosed on self importance,visions of immortality
sacrificed personalitys were the price of human bestiality
prejudices polluted the mentailty of our new generation
unaware,they feel hate now even for an innocent nation

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...503/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...629/index.html

Yeah Hip Hop is mainly dead.

But about yours-

Vocabulary- very very very impressive vocabulary
I hate to do short critiques, but your use of vocabulary at the right time is great.
I can feel a nice flow coming from it.
Adjectives are great

awake all night,tryin to decode hatred and his followers

pretty nice line...i like it.

Overall- 8/10 good stuff, just more of a political rap, no real punches if you know what i mean

[chiboymax]

hmmm, It's pretty good you kept a topic, you had a pretty good rhyme scheme and a good vocab.. rhymes were pretty simplistic tho.. but overal nice piece 7/10
keep dropping

[Paraciite]

Amazing vocabulary...Sometimes, your flow is off...Because of maybe too many words/syllables or lack of internal rhymes. AND if this is rap...It's too complicated...people are going to have to look at it twice to figure out what you're saying. Make it simple, straight to the point you want to make. Cool, please have a look at my open mic drops...Leave a comment, thanks. Peace...

[Paraciite]

Please, have a look... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=427740 Thanks, Peace. I'll rtf...If necessary.

[sir headless]

Thanks for the big bunch of feedback P i gave u some fb

[Insaner]

'we overdosed on self importance,visions of immortality'. Loved that line man, real stuff right there a lesson for us all. Rhyme schemes were decent but could have been better. I found some spelling errors as well that threw me off a bit because I had to re-read.. but overall the flow wasn't too bad. Liking the vocab though man, I thought 'aura' and 'plethora' was quite fresh and it stood out to me I don't know why lol. Overall a good piece but you need to reveiw it and tighten up the rhymes a bit. I like the overall message.

Check out my stuff as well man I'de recommend : http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...701/index.html

Peace.

p.s I don't think Hip Hop is dead.. It's just that most people don't know what it truly is anymore.

[sir headless]

Thanks for the feedback

[Galactus The Devourer]

Devil torns us apart? Someshit was off gotta proof read ya verse. Some of the concepts in this were fresh and original loved the flow in the feet blistered line. Some of the rhymes were slightly simplistic but the messages were clear regardless. Peep my shit I'd like your take.

[rhymebad]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...787/index.html

damn this was some hot stuff right here let this get by me loved this part right here dawg

we overdosed on self importance,visions of immortality
sacrificed personalitys were the price of human bestiality
prejudices polluted the mentailty of our new generation
unaware,they feel hate now even for an innocent nation

[sir headless]

Thanks for the feedback rhymebad

[sir headless]

Up ?