thump

[Neruda II]

hello there,
I'm a beast.
I fuck, fight and eat.
you're all mystery,
and i ain't gonna
let that get to me.

and so little lady death
you ain't never made a sound
im lookin for ya here
and you're lookin' for the ground

i can tell you what i do,
all day locked up in my room.
but i can't let you take my pulse
if you ain't got nothin to prove

so we can fight, fuck and eat
and you can try to steal my breath
but i'll be comin' for your neck
sweet little lady death

thump thump
thump
thum
thu
th
thump
thump thump
thumpthumpthumpthump.

im holdin' on for night
asking light for what to say
i ain't never died before
and i ain't bout to start today

wont ever be famous
or even close to fucking cool
my hands are always shaking
and my tank is never full

but im here and im alive
im so prepared for what comes next
the scars are on my chest
so do your best,
ms lady death.

[Alyse Miller]

This Was interesting.. an quite diffrent i never read yuor work before i glad i have this was funny i loved your opener on how you started i like having a lol or two when i read through a piece wording was ok it fowed nice in most spots overral i enjoyed this. An also an interesting title i mite add.

[spokenoh]

This is a lot different than the usual you. I don't know what to think.

The rhymescheme, the quatrains. . . not what I expected. The title even. It definitely has a musical feel to it, but I just can't get into it. I'm mostly just wondering why you went this direction. I liked some of the lines - "I aint never died before" - and I also think the voice in parts was strong (like usual). I'm more interested in finding out why you wrote like this than anything. I hope this isn't a shitty reply.

[Neruda II]

hahahaha nahhhh that's pretty much what i expected. it's a spokenword piece for sure. i guess everyone should just hold off on the feed until i get a video up of me performing it.

i wrote this out of boredom and i felt that there was still a bit of "fistful of dollars" that i didn't squeeze out. this was kind of the afterbirth to that piece. gross.