The Search Continues

[Lyrical Lazerus]

I Listen...
To soft spoken limrics of hearts broken again,
Carried on wings of affection through whispers of wind
Flow of emotions transcend the sin that's burried deep within
Lost souls with no visage or hope to carry on and so... I listen

I Feel...
The physical pain endured by countless innocents unhealed
Wishing I could reveal to the world their wrongs sealed
Within each essence I yield... time and again I yield
To these greater forces unable to portray the emptiness... I feel

I See...
Darkness enveloping me deeper than the blackness of midnight seas
Greed and gluttony sowing and tending the growth of festering seeds
Lord give me the srtength I need to proceed... I need to believe
Need to know there's something greater than all the infidelity around me... I see

I Am...
Constantly innundated with emotions that are not my own but have grown unto me
Flashes of precious pleas that dot the I's and cross their t's believe
Fresh as a summer's breeze I constantly conceed to the she who's light sees
My precious Queen to be and yet not... as her heart still eludes me...

[Lyrical Lazerus]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...723/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...100/index.html

[KnowP]

i liked this piece fam... its way beter than your OM. Keep writing and keep in mind your structure and rhyme schemes... stay up

[Cinizter]

I See...
Darkness enveloping me deeper than the blackness of midnight seas
Greed and gluttony sowing and tending the growth of festering seeds
Lord give me the srtength I need to proceed... I need to believe
Need to know there's something greater than all the infidelity around me... I see

These were my favorite lines, for starters I like the I Feel, I Listen, I Am theme you had going. It was a cool little poetic device, haven't seen it much in this forum. I though tit was very creative and unique.
At the same time I feel that your writing has an air of laid-backness that I would like to see you deviate from.

peace. and keep posting.