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Thread: Tras El Sol

  1. #1
    remnant. Miho's Avatar
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    Tras El Sol

    “¿Qué es un fantasma?
    Un evento terrible, condenado a repetirse una y otra vez.
    Un instante de dolor, quizá.
    Algo muerto, que por momentos parece vivo aún.
    Un sentimiento suspendido en el tiempo.
    Como una fotografía borrosa.
    Como un insecto atrapado en ámbar.
    Un fantasma.
    Eso soy yo.”

    De "El Espinazo Del Diablo".

    Perdido a mas,
    desde que se esconde tras
    el fuego que sabe alumbrar mi
    llanto, espero a que la
    noche pronto
    regrese.

    corriendo hace una luz que
    no existe, algo que no me
    da corazón a decirle.
    porque solo en oscuridad
    lo conozco.

    escucho el grito de su alma
    que se arrastra por las paredes,
    sintiendo su dolor acariciando
    mi tierna mejilla.

    quisiera dormir lado a lado, aquí
    en esta vida
    o ahí en muerte, igual.
    así seremos, un espanto
    que tortura
    al oír.
    al no sentir,
    ni poder tocar.

    obligado a no pertenecer
    a nada, se esconde,
    rechazándose así mismo.
    si supiera que no hace falta,
    que al esconder se empuja
    mas a la claridad,
    donde no lo puedo encontrar.

    el sentimiento, el sufrimiento
    me hace desearlo.
    poniéndome cada día mas
    cerca de la inexistencia,
    siempre sabiendo que
    ni asi estaremos unidos.

    un fantasma;
    la luna que siempre será
    escondida tras el sol.



    Links:
    Atop A Milk Crate Podium
    Tusk

  2. #2
    Banned Cinizter's Avatar
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    Re: Tras El Sol

    translation please. I mean it would've been good if you posted it in both languages. but to just assume we're bi-lingual...WTF!!!!.

  3. #3
    Get Touched abiona's Avatar
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    Re: Tras El Sol

    lol yeah, you might want to post a translation. I can't think of many people here that can read en espanol.

    Anyway, I struggled a bit with some of the language (a lot of that vocab isn't something I use in my daily school related spanish conversations. lol.) From what I could pull from it, however, you did an amazing job with the challenge. Totally not the way I would have envisioned the piece playing out when I gave you the challenge.

    This was almost hauntingly beautiful in some places... particularly here:

    escucho el grito de su alma
    que se arrastra por las paredes,
    sintiendo su dolor acariciando
    mi tierna mejilla.
    which I loved. As well as the stanza that followed. The melancholy, the longing, was apparent, even in my broken translation.

    I'm glad you did the night... because that darkness was well captured in the piece, almost reinforcing the voice of the speaker. Had it been told from the light, I would have expected something different. But the way you were able to bring almost this somber resignation to the words really created a mood and tone that brought the piece so much more emotion.

    Good job, darling. I'm glad you got some writing in.... even if it took me forever to show my appreciation. Now go do more!!!
    ArtificialIntelligence


    TNL
    ps... abi punchlines are played


  4. #4
    God Fist Spoken Deity's Avatar
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    Re: Tras El Sol

    no comment

  5. #5
    better than legendary Neruda II's Avatar
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    Re: Tras El Sol

    so wonderfully beautiful. god, i wish i could express myself in spanish.
    murder murder

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