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Thread: The Guardian's Warning

  1. #1
    Soule
    Guest

    The Guardian's Warning

    What's worst?



    I'm a monster
    with ferocious instinct,
    spending a lifetime
    alone and hungry.
    Passion,
    burning like the scorching sun,
    my touch is timid,
    like the virgin Mary.
    Eyes glimmer
    like an untouched diamond,
    emotions are lost,
    so results may vary.
    We see the world differently,
    you and I,
    you see beauty
    where I see a nightmare.
    I see lies
    where you see promises,
    the Mayan's were wrong,
    the world isn't ending.
    Humanity is just caging it,
    suffocating it with pollution.
    I could be a monster,
    but only when you hurt my planet.


    or...


    I'm a good man,
    protecting my family,
    with fists
    that hit harder than a hammer.
    Father-like senses,
    to save what I hold dear.
    God's right hand man,
    angel, demon, soldier, whatever.
    I'm human,
    breathing the air that you taint.
    Held down with restraints,
    for disagreeing with your beliefs.
    Free me!
    Before you ruin what we've built,
    you're puppets of an ignorant leader.
    Doing what you think is good,
    when it'll kill us all in the end.
    Shooting stars aren't meant for wishes,
    it's the balance of life slowly decaying.
    Sacrifice money,
    sacrifice the job that you hate.
    Before you sacrifice everything.
    And that greed will be for nothing.



    What's worst?
    Living a monster?
    Or dying a good man?
    Either way...
    I warned you.
    Last edited by Soule; February 27th, 2010 at 01:01 PM

  2. #2
    Soule
    Guest
    Last edited by Soule; February 27th, 2010 at 12:59 PM

  3. #3
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: The Guardian's Warning

    Bump.

  4. #4
    God Fist Spoken Deity's Avatar
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    Re: The Guardian's Warning

    this had pieces of quality in it... but overall, it came of cliche and kind of forced. Some of images and concepts are kind of clashing... the language does this a few times as well. Some things weren't cliche, they were just boring or something. I dunno why, but this didn't bring anything out of me. It lacked depth.
    I know you're more of a topical writer, but keep at it.

  5. #5
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: The Guardian's Warning

    Word, appreciate it man. I'm trying to get back into Poetry while maintaining my Topical passion as well.

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